Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Dark days

       Some of the days that we think we can't survive are the openings for transformation. I have been asking my Divine guidance for assistance for a few days now and my life has gotten chaotic and awful.
In my pain I have come to know the Grace that guides me. In the past i would have gotten caught up in the  mess that life brings to us in times like this.
   I have had many blessing along the way, and in the past I would have over looked these for the other reality of the bad that I see happening around me.
   This brings me to the reality that there is no bad just a movement that helps your lives transform, I want very much to teach this understanding to others, and I know that I need to live it and understand this to teach it.
     There is a peace that prevails when you see Grace in all that happens. We stop labeling good and bad. Knowing that it is all part if life that is in our best interest.
    The dark things that pass in our lives are the excuses to know Grace, commune and love; become whole in the knowing of our inner selves. Others say that they stop, I haven't seen those days yet, but I can see that they may. By virtue of perception, darkness becomes pure Grace flowing through the quality of life. Purifying all we do not want; maneuvering us into happiness.

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

life to live

  We all want life to go our way. The reality of that is; that life its self knows what will make us happy. Life is the energy of creation. The reality of what is best for us. Letting go of all of our wants to find what is the best for us is so hard. sometimes we do not even know what we want or think we do; only to find that we are unhappy once we get it. Our wants also change with our development or emotional growth.
      I want to stay home with my kids, they are the love of my life and I want to be there for them and all of the world is conspiring to push me into the world of work. I recently went back to work; only to find that I am delighted with it. Part of me feels like I let my kids down. As if I was not a good mom because I did not fallow the energy of my wants and focus on them. I have also wanted to be independent of the people in my life that want to call the shots. I see now that the stronger energy, the one full of life is the one that makes me free.
     I am happier, not having others around that want me to behave in a certain ways for them. I am happier without there disappointment and judgement; or moodiness.
  I do not like going to work; but I know that the energy of life needs me to be here now; to create time and space to maneuver my life into a different setting.  I can say this, that my life was not working the way I wanted it to; so it is a blessing that it is working the way life is directing it.
       Life we live is not always the best life we could live. Sometimes when we give in to life as it calls us to be, we find ourselves more alive than we thought we could be. Living the life we want can stifle life itself; making our every turn feel wrong. When we move in the direction that we need to; we come alive with the very life of creation.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

energy flows

       Energy flows like a river, when it meets no Resistance it feels free and life is peaceful and safe. It has taken me so long to understand how unbiased all this is, there is no place in any of life for taking anything personal.
        It still, to this day amazes me how people treat each other and how they justify anger and taking there own feelings out on others. I have gotten so good at understanding my intuition that it feels so bad when people are angry around me. Sometimes I feel like a little kid again, raw to all that passes through me and sad about how others hold so much in anger. I have felt it so acutely, I feel overwhelmed by it all; now understanding how my kids feel. I realized that is the point in my path; to be guided to understand, feel, and learn to see it as patterns that have nothing to do with me as an energy being. I am so grateful to have places that my energy flows and I can move in a direction, creating with life and working for the bigger common good.
        I have never wavered in that, I want to teach and heal others with this knowledge. I know I have had to endure all that I have gone through to know and help others. All I have wanted all my life is to help, heal others and I see now it has been a path that has been guided all the way and I was born with this knowledge and fire to heal. Energy is a pattern that has nothing to do with us as people it uses us to heal the whole, it is us, we do not chose it. Energy is the essence of who we are, and when we understand it; or become conscious, we know we have to fallow that flow. Nothing else will help us be at peace, or help heal the world of all ailments.
        Do not feel bad about fallowing your peace, know with all your heart that it is healing the world.
Mast of the things we have to do to fallow that peace create pain for others; hold firm and chug on, peace will prevail.

Sunday, July 31, 2011

New Friends

I have moved back to the place I belong, and instantly made a new friend. Cosmic; that I was in one place for a year and could not make one friend, then move and make one in two weeks. There is the energy of belonging in that.  
My thoughts are about rooting; or feeling of being and doing the right thing. My friend moves a lot, they travel in a camper and go were there is work. Kinda like a modern day Gypsy, but that is sweet; that she chooses to support her spouse and travel with him. The energy of true love, and it is returned in his actions too, he genuinely likes her company and is devoted to her.
Well the story is about rooting; she is some times restless to settle down and have a community to be involved in and family around. They connected at a church in their home town before they left and miss it very much. The reality of this is that what you do in a home town is what you will do on the road. Most people do not see this because they are looking for it to look a certain way; but they are living the love they learned at church. That very energy sends them people to commune with and care for in the same manor that they would at home.
They both are very generous people and give to others. She has offered to help me and that offer is the energy of love you learn about in a church and want to practice. Just her quiet manor of affection and devotion to those around her is the truth that you learn and read about.
Understanding how and were God works in your life is part of intention that makes your life filled with the meaning that we all crave. We do not have to go some place or do what others do to be a great citizens and show our devotion to God thought those choices.  I say they are great people and that the energy of there life is that it is a unique opportunity to show others the love of God through there personal relationship and how they interact with the new people that they meet. That is the great gift they have been given to witness there devotion to God. The energy that runs through us is the gift that God wants us to live out; being a witness to Himself; or the energy of creation itself.
So thank you for being my friend, acting out the affection that God has for me. Thank you for choosing to be that energy for this world, you are a great person. I am blessed for the time you have and will be in my life and that is all that God wants for us all.

Thursday, July 7, 2011

No Mistakes

In the energy world there are no mistakes. We live lives that fit into the levels of energy that we are at and the levels of energy that others are at and the pain we inflict is the pain needed to heal ourselves and those around us. Even the collective pain is the pain of healing needed to transform and heal the world until some day we live in harmony and peace with all those around us.
You do not have to believe me in all this but is is true and has been taught by all great masters in all of time. Energy is the very thing that makes us and the very thing that inspires us in all that we do. We have free will and in the split second we take to decide to act differently, we grow.
Let me explain. I will use a child abuser as an example. We come into this world with energy that we need to act out, this energy is the energy that is here to heal ourselves and those around us. So the person that is an abuser grows up abused, learns to abuse, then continues to abuse on their kids. But evolution has a point of time that says we, the people, need to learn from this.
If the abuser can not stop in the split second that it takes to choose differently, they will keep on abusing until some one stops them in some life transforming way, or they will die; in an angry way, like heart attack, etc.
All the energy around them is no mistake. They are here to teach the abused not to act that way, yet many of us never learn from the pain and continue to abuse; because we like the power it gives us. There are so many layers of this pain that it is hard for a person to see it all or over come it on there own. You need one of two things, and ultimately one thing. The first and most important is you need the energy within you to heal you, teach you to stop. If you can not allow the energy with in you to help; or do not see the value in that . You will be stopped with a person in a tragedy exchange that makes you slow down enough to stop; or seek help, admitting you need help. When you admit you need help the energy with in you has the opening that it needs to help you.
What I am saying is that all is the energy within you, either the energy that abuses or the energy to empower others. There are no mistakes, the energy works through us in some way no matter. Your free will comes in the fact that we have the ability to see that we hurt others and can choose to let the energy work in a loving way instead of hurting. No mistakes, just bad choices. Either way you are a child of the creative energy within you, a product of energy that can live up to greatest hights in love, or pain; but no mistakes.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011


Healing happens in all we do; Yet you have to have grace to open your heart in the moment and be able to see the other in a new, or whole way.
To day my dad came into my life for the first time in 12 years, but he wanted to see my mom. He has not seen my mom in 30 years. Yet he came with the intention of making amends. What a lot of people do not see is that you can make amends and have the other person say yes on one level, but on another still not see you as a whole person worthy of forgiveness, the healing comes when both grow and heal in the interaction and become whole.
I could sense that it was a moment of time that my father needed to validate that he was not as bad as he himself felt, over all that had gone by. This is an energy of calling back your soul and forgiving yourself for the pain you caused others. I am not sure if my mom could see the transformation I saw in her but I know it healed her too.
My mom has had a feeling of unworthiness in her life time that she has never addressed, yet it over shadowed all she does. Still to this day she talks of how she was not treated fairly by her father. I am sure that other than me, no one else has apologized to her. I also know she dismissed  that as due to her, in all my wrongness. I was so happy to see the healing in both of them, something I did not think of before.
Many times we change and look for confirmation in those we love, or those around us, as a barometer. Much of the time others are busy keeping us in the box of our old behavior. So we never forgive ourselves fully. This is an energy exchange that keeps people down or in the case of forgiveness, empowers us. When we know that we are forgiving, the energy can be released and we no longer carry the burden of that experience.
All we do has the power to heal others, and I now see that it heals us too. The law of intention, when you intend to heal, help, see the world whole; it becomes whole, and all those in it.

Monday, July 4, 2011

Sparse Living

I am moving, but I will not be able to afford to move my belongings. Part of me is looking forward to the idea of sparse living. Yeah it will be really sparse, but I will be free. The thoughts of living under my own energy is such a thrill and brings me so much happiness! I am sure I will be able to manifest the bare necessities that I need to get by. There are really great people in the world, and I know I am doing what is right. This will be the energy that brings the best in the end.
Some say why not stay if you can't afford to move. I say the energy that I live under is too toxic for the world and that it need to be released. I am the only one that can do the job of letting go and moving on. So, I am happy to do so. When you have to leave things behind, know they are not you. There is power in letting go of the world that others feel is something to cling to.
I have a vision board and I was looking at it the past few nights, what I noticed was that not much of the things on it were things that I have. I started to think that this was a perfect time in life to allow my inner energy to remake me, in its own image. The prospects are daunting on one hand, but on another this is what I have always wanted. I have sought to be remade in the light of my inner self all this time. I decided to fall into this thought and allow it to do its own work. Whatever that may be.
So, I say, bring it on. I want less to worry about, less to clean, and a life of quiet contemplation and devotion to what really matters; my inner self and family. Others read magazines and wish for simple living, I am going to embrace living that way.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Eyes of Grace

You have a choice in life, the only real choice that will heal; is to see everything through grace.
Your choice to see all events as love for within you, or not. Yet the only way to heal, help, change or transform; is to take your power to see through the grace of this world and act on it guidance.
Yes you are the only being that can, at this moment, choose to act, see, change and maneuver this world through your choice of seeing and acting through the grace that ruins through you in the form of energy at every moment of your life.
We can see how hardened our lives have become, we avoid helping others for fear that we may be put out in some way. we over look things for fear that we may suffer that demise if we help too much. We x out our desire to help others in a benevolent way because it take too much effort.
Yet our spirit calls to every moment to help in some way, even if it is the smallest way. To see a child in a new light, gives them hope that they are a good person. To smile at a stranger helps them feel worthy, to cook a meal is to show support for your fellow man. Every thing we do can be done with an energy of support and love, and all those around us now our intentions in some way.
Grace, when lived through will support you and love you enough to make all of life worth while. You will no longer look for or want any approval or acceptance for others. You will see that all that matters is if you live through this and honer it with all your heart.
When I started on this path I wanted to know this, live it and feel it. Now I see this way and love it this way and would never live any other way. I feel like I am filling my porpoise in life to live through the eyes of grace; healing the world, one moment at a time.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Waking Up

If you want to start to wake up to energy, to dissipate your old thoughts; fast, go volunteer. I am talking to help others that are dying, in nursing homes. I will have to add, do not talk to the people around you. If you do, you will get caught up in the physical part of life, believing that it is the reality of what is happening in the world.
Go someplace and do the worst of jobs, clean bed pans and take out trash. Be kind to all that pass you, and when they do not appreciate you, go home and cry. Know that this is the fastest way to a dialogue with your inner self, oh wait, you do not have to volunteer; you already live this life.
Yes the fastest way to waking up to your inner self is to force yourself to do all this with love, reserve and all judgment. Use you thoughts to understand you are doing all this to transform your world, forget how it all looks. Pretend that everything that is happening is not staying, it is changing; because it is.
Cry a lot, crying loosens you old thought patterns. When you are tired and give up on how things are going; that is when your inner energy can make change. Waking to your inner self shows you how much of life you were missing. You start to see that all your judgment and wants got in the way of seeing how life really was. How much you really wanted others to appreciate you, waking up teaches you that you appreciate yourself; then you see how much you did not appreciate those around you. Now you can though, being wake is to understand our own selves in this energy world. To see all the ways we did not engage; and blamed others for the short coming.
The awake state, is to understand that it does not matter what anyone else does; it only matters how much grace, or energy you, yourself, can bring to the moment you are in. As the song goes, "Wake up, Wake up! Everybody up! Everybody Up!".

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Full Measure

Life is a full measure, you need to feel it and live through the feeling. This feeling engages you, it takes your thoughts in a direct way. This means you think about life, not just react to what you see.
The feeling that I am talking about is the feeling that you get when you are someplace and start to feel someone looking at you; if that person is looking at you, you feel good. If that person is looking at you with anger you feel bad; or fearful. Either way this is the feeling of heightened energy. Most of the time it we notice it when we are feeling attracted to someone, the problem with this is that we reduce it to a sexual feeling. That means that we engage with another based on out true being; seeing their inner spirit, feeling it and then reduce them and ourselves to a sexual being. We as humans experience our inner self first in this way, as sexual beings; this is the first step in feeling our inner energy. The problem is that his world does not have a true understanding that the first feeling is a sensual feeling. Sensual is the essence of our true being. Falling in love is the first days of relating through our true inner being; that is why it is so powerful. The problem is that we have assigned this feeling to sexuality and then we start to see the other person through the physical; because sexuality is physical.
We do not have a language in this world yet for this feeling, or a true understand of how to live through this process of our inner energy. There are many of us that have started to live it and want to help others to live a full life, the only path is to experience this feeling, on a more that half bases.
As you start to practice this feeling and bring it into you life, it teaches you all the ways you used to see are wrong. The way you used to relate to it are hurtful and destructive.
When you live through it you become it, and willingly let it live through you. Life then becomes the full measure of the experience of feeling, being the true you.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011


In all we do, we can see energy at work. Even when we do not see the direct results of our work; we can see the the world is connected through a mutual energy that runs through us all. Living through this energy is the spiritual law that, "all is one" and we are effect everything in or lives.
Seeing this energy is not about seeing with your eyes it is about a combination of feeling and knowing. It is the development of you inner self that guides you in a most wondrous life. To know in your heart that you have the ability to life someones life in even the smallest way is so powerful. That in its self can make all of life a glorious place to be.
No matter how down and out we are there is always someone, something to make better. Even if it is a prayer, a smile, or a silent devotion of love. Life can become a miracle in motion.
I love this thought, even the thought brings my heart in to a joyous state of being. When we are in a sad place we can go to the store and smile at another. We can pray for one another. We can open our hearts and feel the energy of all those around us and see them with the eyes of our inner spirit.
This same energy 'sees' us, and so provides the very thing we need to make our lives a better place. It is in our choice to help another, making there life a better place, that the energy makes our lives a better place too. Seeing is a intimate part of our lives, we can not avoid it. My thought is to use it to make this world the best place it can be.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Path

The worst things in your life are meant to send you on a path of higher living. Each of us has things that happen and we say, "Why me?".  The truth is that they are the things that are supposed to set us on a course to living a life on the inside. We will never be able to understand the events of our lives according to  our logic in this world, but tragedy is set up to make us vulnerable enough we remember how it feels to feel bad. Then from an inner energy perspective we need to use that knowledge to relate to others.
This world is about learning to serve others, in some way that helps the world be a better place. Even when we can't get out of a lower kind of giving we can hone our inner self to giving on this level with kindness and respect. All of us have something we are good at, to learn to give with a blessing in our hearts is to change the world.
At some point this leads to understand in that what ever we give has the power to transform the world no matter what it looks like on the outside. Even if the other person can not say thank you or does not even understand how there life has changed; you know that it has made a difference. This is the true path if living through your inner energy. It is the ability to know that in all we do there is the power to help others.
The reality is that all we do either helps another or hurts them; in the end we all have the ability to learn from the pain, or love, others inflict. Yet it is in your path that the transformation needs to take place; so it should be you that is in the knowing that all is transformed through you. Our highest potential in life is living through this knowledge, and your own path is the only one that can change the world you live in.

So as my daughter loves to say, and Nike; just do it!

Monday, June 27, 2011

Lasting Relationships

I recently met a beautiful couple that was so in love, even after years of life trauma. It is so rare to see people that have grown together in life; one is always touched by them. I have thought about them so much over the past few weeks. I also have wanted nothing more that to have such a relationship in my life; even though I will not ever have that. I am twice divorced. it got me thinking though, what makes you the kind of person that would not just live together, but thrive together.
Faith is the deciding factor. I am not talking about ordinary faith; but the kind that says, 'no matter what transpires; I love you, and you love me'. This life does not have a lot of room for that kind of unwavering faith. You as a person have to have you on the energy of the love above all else in this world. Through years of ups and downs, hurt feelings, death and ordinary disappointments; faith in the love that binds them.
You have to have the ability to empower each other at what might seem you own expense. You have to overlook a lot of what others take offence to. But in the end you come out with this perfectly nurtured love. I will tell you these too shine with this love! You can see that it has been what nurtured them through all of life together. They nurturing the love and the love nurturing them back. Amazing how the circle of love, or energy of life, works for us.
I know I have seen this love only two times in my life. Once as a child, and I strive to understand it and wanted to learn to live it. I know I am living it and teaching it to my kids; and that I may not have it with a partner, but I know I have it with my kids. I see that my efforts to understand have paid off in that the next generation will be better off for my faith in this love; because of my efforts in building lasting relationships with my kids.

Wednesday, June 22, 2011


We all come to endings in our lives. Some of us do not like to end because it is change, we resist this and then the end has to come in a cloud of pain over some tragedy we created because we resisted the change in the first place. I guess if you learn to follow your intuition and see how it directs you to change, change is still a time of uncomfortableness, but you look at the good in it. This knowledge is the comfort you are doing the right thing, and it allows you to look at the possibilities that are open to you in the ending of something.
As you know I am moving and have had to tell my mom that I need to go. It is a time of uncomfortableness. I know she does not approve, because she does not think things have changed for me. On one level they haven't. yet if they haven't changed I would not be going. I would still be here frightened and scared for my survival and the needs of my kids. This announcement has helped my mom be kinder to me, strangely enough. but there is now a deeper, energy of resentment.
This past year I have rapidly gone through my spiritual evolution. My mom has not approved of me from the time I got here and after I got over the hurt I started to notice that she behaves this way with all people, It was never me she was disappointed of, it is her way of relating. Yet I have to say that has been an emotional, spiritual, guide that I do not belong were I am not supported.
I know that in my heart it is the right thing to move on, for everyone that I live with and around. I see that my decision effects all those that touch my lives too, even all those that touch my children's lives. I have also seen how we, all those people have grown too.
So my ending is filled with beginnings, and I know that I will never again be the person I was when I came here. I do not mind that one bit, for I have become, in the process the person I had wanted to be all my life. I am grateful for this ending. If I had faced all my endings with the larger view that all is right in the world, my life would had transformed sooner. I am grateful to be here now!

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Generosity / Charity

I am glad the world is getting back to generosity. It is in generosity that we touch the true spirit of others and transform our spiritual lives in the process. I see that for a while we have been doing charity, and charity is nice but at the end of the day, you do not grow. Charity is the stuff that makes you feel good because you have helped another and you look and feel good for the exchange. It is something that you go to bed at night, saying I am glad I did a good deed, and now I can get on with my life.
Generosity is the act of extending your self in a way that you transform another, not at the expense of yourself, but at the sacrifice of part of you. This part of you can be your thoughts, it can be giving something you have, or time. Yet it requires an emotional investment and the possibility of a risk of some kind. The risk I refer to is that we may have to endure it lasting longer, or being harder than we think. Most of these opportunities of generosity are ways we grow the most, in learning our boundaries and the depth that we can touch an others lives, they are the transformational choices we make the help others see there own value.
We are in awe of those that do great generous acts, yet we some who think we cant preform them ourselves. We do not have the money or time. That is, we have the underlying belief that if we help others we will loose something we need; time or money. The truth is that people that serve others in this way know that they get back all invested, yet they are humble enough to know the true message of servitude is in emanating to the person you are helping a sense of equality. It this underlying intention we all stay humble, and honer that energy that all is one. That same energy is what brings back, or replaces what you gave, in abundance of what we gave in the first place. Your intention is the energy of magnetic attraction. To use it and practice it through generosity is what helps our spirits grow so rapidly.
Generosity is, or can be preformed in all you do. You can be generous in pouring a cup of tea, coffee, or making a meal. It comes in the morning routine with your family, the choice to overlook and show the people you live with that the small things don't make them bad people. Your choice for generosity is something you can do without money, time or any resources. It is in the choice to transform your thinking, to focusing on your ability, to make a difference in every moment of your day.
You can be as big at heart as any you see on TV, all you have to do is start with one thought at a time. You inner energy will do the rest, soon your life will be as big and as important as the lives of the people you see on TV..

Friday, June 17, 2011


Resurrection is an energy pattern that we all go through during our lives. We do not feel it on most levels though. It happens every time we learn something new and this reality replaces our old thinking. This reality can be felt acutely when you disconnect from a collective belief pattern, like getting mad at someone and moving away from them. Seeing another perception and understanding them for what they are and then understanding that reality is not who you are; changes you thoughts on who you were. This lets in a new reality of yourself and then you are resurrected as a new person. Energy then comes in and grows your cells and spiritual body so that you become the new perception.
I have been learning and studying all my life about the world spiritual masters, this energy has shaped and overrode all the decisions that I have made in my life. It has been the primary way I related with all people and how I have raised my family. I was given the gift in my life to be rejected by almost all the people in my life, family and friends. This was a painful process as I lived through it, yet it has repeatedly left me with the need to look to my inner energy for a self sustaining relationship.
Resurrection energy in the end brings all that back, it transforms your perception to leave you with the truth that you are that energy and then all those people can return. They just return free of any feelings of resistance. I have had that prevailing feeling in the past few days. An open feeling of grace, and love. Despite the friction in my current home I know that in the end all this will fade. My mom will melt into the love I have for her. The reality that my inner self has created, is the one I have been training for and striving for all my life, an so I feel reborn.
I feel as though I've been reborn, as I no longer see the events in my life as I used to. My reaction to those events have also changed. I welcome the light of my inner energy as it guides me down the path of conciousness.

Thursday, June 16, 2011


When you think of something it starts the seed of reality. Talking about it and then having someone else believe in it makes it grow. This is how the world starts and finishes anything. If you talk about it and then it fades away, others, and your self have 'turned the other cheek,' as they say, and it dies. The reality of it fades. 
My daughter texted me in the night last night, she was in a panic and angry that some of her old friends were bulling her. When this happens, and any other thing that is in just, remember were you are. People do theses kinds of things to get attention and if you are feeling like it is true, but it was in just they others talk about you; it becomes real. You are the second person that makes what was said a reality, or you can drop it and it dies. These girls said she was a charity case, and this may have weighed on my daughter because of our recent hardship. Yet the reality is that she is not from a poor family, we have experienced a poor life this year, but over all we have had a great life. All parents say no to there kids, I have said yes a lot more that some parents; with a lot less to give. She has not and is not a child of a poor family. This is a reality that she can easily over look and know that she is a strong person inside and does have a great group of friends beyond these other girls. I reminded her of this. She is with her friends and is safely away from theses other girls and there reality; she saw the truth in this and moved on. That reality then died the death it deserved.
There is also another reality here, these girls were shunned on a level and did not like my daughter moving on. She had unfriended them on Face book. I will say that there are people in this world that test the reality of our decisions, or our dedication to them. When you energetically move on there will be others that challenge that. Others do not like it when we move on, moving on is a threat to there ego. They will energetically find ways to undermined our decisions, this is were our persecution and resolve set in. We have a choice at this point to follow our inner self direction or believe in the reality that others create for us. Energy itself does not care what you choose, if you are strong in your inner energy you will believe in your own direction and then live in the happiness of that. If you are not sure of that inner relationship you will create, again with the people that are persecuting you. You will go back to there reality and have to learn the lesson until you can disconnect from that reality setting.
All these energy patterns are here to help you develop your inner self. They are nothing but patterns, that the other people are acting out. The patterns test us and teach us to grow spiritually. Sitting with you inner self and felling that relationship will grow the patience you need to see these patterns and learn from them, instead of being offended by them. So create your reality with your inner self and know with all your heart that as it develops in this world others will see it and know it as truth. Leave the others behind, they are here to test your relationship with reality. What you think is your only reality.

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


I moved to this part of the world to be with family, one assumes that family is the connection that you learn from and grow, and that helps you out of love. What I did not for see is that love is defined by others and many other ways. Let me expound on that. Family is what we grow with and they have the same value systems; now I will admit my mom has a different value system. Yet over the years I have talked to her and she has agreed with my thoughts and been supportive and loving, so I assumed that would continue when I move to her home. What I did not bargain for was that her value system would prevent her from being the loving person that she was the other 22 years that I was learning a new value system.
In the end I can say, that I would shout it from the mountain tops, I love you mom! I am grateful for her love, the way she can show it, has been limiting and painful, yet I have grown so much from that small love. You see energy gives you what you need not what you want, I needed to see that love, as limiting and as painful as it was on some levels as love from the energy world. I had to see and feel that as enough to open my heart to loving all, excepting all as it is in the bigger plan. With out this lesson I could not love to this capacity, or see the world as the loving place it truly is, a gift from the energy that keeps us all breathing and alive.
So sit with the pain that family dishes out, it is the miracle that heals us all. I am happy to report that I am moving on and I feel that same energy is me; that I have come to par with my calling in life. My life will now be the vision that I have strived for and wished it to be. I will have the same ups and downs, yet I will act different, and even appreciate the world for the true miracle it is.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Acquiring Energy

We are energy beings first, that means that we need energy to survive, grow and thrive. So we must acquire energy as our primary nutrients. Now I will say that this world does not teach you how to do that, it is part of growing and learning. You do it through your relationship with your inner energy. This primary relationship is the way we live, and if we neglect it we are abusive, yes that is a strong thing to say but it is true.  Abusive people keep the patterns of abuse alive and well through there way of acquiring energy. They teach this form of acquiring energy through there abuse.
Now let me explain, we all have to have energy, it repairer's and keeps all our cells and functions of every aspect in our lives going. As children we learn that we share energy, through energy plays with the members of our tribes (family). Now as we grow we are supposed to learn that we start to form a relationship with our inner self; this relationship will take us away from our family, if we do it right. Now most families do not want us to leave, out grow, or become smarter that them; so they do not encourage this.
       Yet you will get smarter with your inner self, and this relationship helps you grow patience and  inner peace that teaches compassion and respect for others. It is in that relationship that you gain energy to survive and feed your energy body (essential self). Little by little you will have less need to create chaos, or anger episodes that feed you energy body. You see anger in any form is what it is to get energy from a physical point, meaning you have not acquired the skills to gain it for yourself, through inner work. Anger can feed you for days, because when others think of the episode they are relinquishing there energy in the form of thought filled emotions, to you.
I know people that are still working in this mode, ok, a lot of people. But I see that I have grown through it and no longer feed them with my thoughts. Many of these people use the excuse that they black out or can not control there actions, and they can't. This pattern is so ingrained that it happens at such a pace they do not see the reality of there actions. Now I must say that people that know they hurt others and continue to do it are, energetically asking to be left. This is the energy the universe is calling all of us to deny, or to look elsewhere so it can transform form the abusers pain of abandonment. Pain of your actions is what the inner energy uses to heal you, and it is a conscious persons responsibility to gently and lovingly leave these people to there life until they learn new patters of relating to us. I am not saying to be angry with them, that is the same form of emotional abuse they use. I am saying that you can check on them and say I love you, then go. When they try to be angry, say I love you and walk away. they will soon see that you are not going to stand there and listen to them. You will soon become calm through these processes also.
The strongest point I can make is to develop your inner relationship, it will give you the patience to handle these and all situations in life. It will open your eyes to how you add to the situations and prevent you from doing the same to others. The best part is that we come to acquire our own energy the way we should acquire it; through our own self, that is real and lasting energy that can change the world.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Love is a Verb

I have a t-shirt that says this. I always understood that it is an action that we all have to choose to take. Yet, the depths that we need to take it to in order to transform our lives goes well beyond a cute t-shirt.
We all come in this world with energy that is meant to transform the world, and us. Love is this energy. Love is not the self centered way we feel about someone in our lives. It is that deep profound energy that runs through us and creates life itself. Love itself can come in the form of acceptance, quiet contemplation, devotion, and a great joy. The truth is that it is you. We all come here not realizing that we are that energy and that our lives contain the acting out that is supposed to reveal this to us.
This whole process takes quiet dedication, and is measured in every little act we preform, or every thought that causes the action. As you weave the treads of dedication of intention to love, you start to feel yourself as that love. Love being an action is the energy that creates and sustains the world. We act this out in everything we do; I mean everything! From breathing to sleeping, to our blood flowing; our bodies are replicating something in the world or universe that is modeled on our little existence.
When we give up the need, want and desire to control our lives, we see that we are that love, acting out the bigger world that needs love. We become that love, emanating, healing and devoted to all that passes through our lives and mind.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Follow Your Heart

I have to say that many times the information we get from energy, or intuition is sometimes over looked. Follow your heart, even if it is the hardest thing to do, you are creating an energy that will make you stronger. Many times we justify and put our thoughts on the information we get, and this changes our motives and intention. What I am saying here is to follow your heart with out these thoughts that justify your intuition.
Staying silent about your progress and intentions is a powerful thing. It keeps the energy working within your own field and helps you not justify to others. When we feel obligated to justify to others we tell them the ideas that they want to hear so we will have approval. This is energy that is talking and you need only its approval and that will show up in the calm peace over the decisions you make about life.
In the end, after the energy of life maneuvers your life, you will gain people that respect you and except your decisions without making you justify them according to there perceptions. We all make decisions that do not look like the best ones, but they are part of the process that helps us grow and become whole. So from a different perspective they were the right decisions, because we learned from them.
Following your heart is always the right thing to do when you are on a path to know your inner self. Because it always serves the whole of humanity to evolve and grow.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Spoken Word

My favorite radio station is doing a "say 5 nice things, about someone" day. I like this idea. It is in keeping with the energy that all things grow. What you think and then say is always the stuff that grows.
Being or becoming mindful of the thing's that we say is so important in the energy world. There was a time that I would talk endlessly about the injustices in my life. Looking back, it only brought me and the people listening down. All words have energetic power, and if you speak them they are going into the air and all those around you, and to those that you are talking  about! Energy is some thing we feel but do not acknowledge because we would have to behave differently if we lived by it.
It is very real though and it is what creates the world we live in. Every thing we say has the power to help something or hurt it. There is no in between. Life, energy is moving at all times and the only thing that does not change is this energy. All the things we talk about have the ability to change, because they are of this world. Energy does not change so use the unchangeable to change what can!
It is a long road to living by this concept, unless you have a spontaneous awakening, but you will be a better person for the path of understanding. Slowing down to understand how energy feels before we talk is one of the steps to success. So think and say five nice things about everyone you know today, it will create happiness for the day.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011


We all have to transform our lives to be an effective teacher. Even if you are a school teacher you need to go to school and this process take you through a transformation. What we learn in a life time is how we act and how we act is teaching at all times.
All good and effective teachers know that they learn as they go. Life and teaching is a moving and energetic process and has to be open to energy so it can teach what is needed in the moment. If you do not learn from all of life you become a pom pass , egotistical teacher. All this does is make you an out cast. Knowing that you learn from all of life keeps you humble.
Humility is a sign of a great teacher, and if you are privileged to find a teacher on this path, look for humility. Or should I say sit and feel there humility, that is the true test of ones abilities, to feel there energy sincerity. All of what I teach or write is not something you can learn in books; it is something that you have to live, practice and exude.
Look for teachers that will live in the moment and teach you what you need to learn, not what they have decided you need to know. We are all human and have our own agendas; but some of us can sit and feel what is right to say in that moment. In the moment is what needs to be heard and learned.

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Holy Grail

I look back on my life and see that I was on a quest all this time to understand and define unconditional love. It was my proverbial holy grail. It has shaped and defined my life like no other thing or person has, and has made and broken my relationships. In the end I see it as the thing that has taught me the most about life and love, I would not change any of it. I understand more about a lot of life than most others do; but most of all I live it and have found peace in the practice of this path of love.
All people have the desire to learn this but it lays dormant because they do not know how to follow this primal urge or they do not trust it.  I am happy I did not give up, I now know the skills that can help many in this time of transition in the world.
Sometimes I see myself as a spoiled child over not having this love in my life, I have ignored and left to the wayside all the love that I did have in favor of having all of what I did not have. I know this is part of the quest. To know the knowledge and live it, to serve others with this information. I am sure that I had to go through all this to come out with the compassion and patience to teach and energetically help others.
There has entered into my life an acceptance I have never known; I am sure that I could not be an effective teacher without it. The past weeks I have felt an impatience to transform my life; yet I have wanted to trade that feeling for peace. I know that the peace is the only thing that can make me an effective teacher in this life. I am amazed, as usual, at how energy itself transforms my life. Just when I think there is no hope; in come's the transformation that I need to go through the next step in my life.
I know there is no real holy grail; yet I see that our thinking and peace with our inner self is the real holy grail of this life. All this takes is effort and devotion to your inner self.

Friday, May 27, 2011


I admit I grew up being told to work first and enjoy later. This has been my motto and work ethic all my life. In my younger days it worked. I had time to enjoy at the end of the day. Now that I am older there is always something else to do and I have children that have an endless supply of requests that stream through there mouths. I do for them because on a cosmic level we are all here to serve one another. At the end of the day I see I did not enjoy. I zoned out, trying to get to the enjoy part.
It has recently come to my attention, through revelation, that I am missing all the "enjoy" parts of life. I came to see that the enjoy is in the thoughts we have as we do all the rest of life. I clean a lot of poop, laundry, dishes and dinner, all with little or no help, with requests for my attention all the while. I started to realize it was the gratitude in all this mess. I was missing, and that came to me a few days ago.
I started to see the true miracle, or preciousness of it all. That these people, places and situations would not be in my life if it weren't for the grace or miracle that holds them there. Think of it! All the energy that is expended in connecting and correlating all of life! That energy has to hold together tiny cells and help us breath, digest, move, walk, talk and help the flowers grow, the sun to come up, the rain and it does all this for all the world. What a true feet of organizing power and cooperation.
I started to understand that I will not be able to enjoy life that same way ever again, yet I can enjoy it on a whole other level. I can see the miracle in it all and understand that the live around me is a true blessing. It is held in place for the true joy in life and it is a true joy to see it now. I will enjoy life more now that ever because I do not have to wait for the end to appreciate it.

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Sometimes we say that someone hasn't suffered enough. This is a selfish kind of thinking that says,"we should be the judge of others pain and suffering." We are not able to judge anyone else's pain. We just can not know all the factors involved in someones else's grief or learning processes.
The kind of suffering I am talking about is the kind that comes through in the related and future dealing with the people and situation that we learn from. I am talking about when we make others suffer injustly over our own short commings and then expect them to know we learned from the action and consequence.
When we suffer we can learn. It is in the sufffering with our inner energy that we learn the true meanings for our choices and the results are that we approach the people with a sense of humility. I am not talking about humility that says that we are sorry and that we know our place in the pecking order because of our actions. I am talking about humbelness that says, "I know I have treated you unfairly and I am sorry, but I am an equal person and have learned." This kind of energy does not have to be spoken. This kind of energy is revealed in the patience of the learned person. This sort of humility has a space that allows the others around you to see that you have changed before they have to deal with you in an unprotected way. The energy speaks for itself. Energy always conveys to others your true motives.
Your inner energy wants you to allow it to suffer with it, this is the healing process that helps the energy itself to purify your choices so you learn from them. This kind of inner relationship and suffering is not about why we have to suffer it is about knowing how we make others suffer. It is a relationship that the energy itself uses the time to show you how you have hurt others and helps you feel whole and humble in the future dealings with all people. Suffering with your inner energy is a healing to make your life peaceful and whole.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

What You Want

As I have gone along I have realized that if I want something I have to think about it. This is a backwards way of thinking because I was taught to think of what I did not want; in hopes of eradicating it. I am sure that a lot of people were taught this about life and I can see that it has brought a lot of pain to my life too. So what I came to understand was, you do not have to, not think of the other things, this would be imposable and not allow change; but to be happy with what you do like. Now as most of us go there is a lot we do not like! That is the key, or path though, to retrain you thoughts to look at the things you like. I have started to do this in a comical way, I press the virtual "like" button, it seems to have a space in my mind that creates what I need to think different so I can recreate my life.
I have come to understand that I also reflect the things I like, or want to keep in my life by spending time and thoughts on them, or the thought of them. All this has given me a fear deeper sense of gratitude and enjoyment than before. There is a depth of love that I feel flowing from me to all the people and things I "like". Some how I have come to know this as my emotional currency that keep what I want in place and does not hold it hostage. It is a great feeling to love and keep things this way, there is no pain involved in the coming and going of the return energy. I feel infinitely rewarded in this kind of love. I also know it is the only way to build a life that can't be taken from me again.
I have tried in many ways to be happy with the world as it was taught to me... and failed. I also see all others failing a those methods too. I want to create a world out of something real and solid that will not pain me so much. I have found that my inner energy is the only path to create a world that I want, out of love.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


When we feel ourselves as anything other than our energy within; we are just a body heading for death. There are studies, you can read some of Depak Chopra's work, when you think of anything other that the spirit, you are accelerating you aging process. Depak Chopra writes beautifully about this in; Reinventing the Body, Resurrection the Soul, one of this latest books that describes the testing science has done on meditation and the aging process.
Your purposeful attention to your inner self brings the vastness of the universe into your cells through out the day, separating and giving air; or spirit to your body and aging. Thinking of your inner guide is not only great for your mind; creating openness of thought and options, but good for your body also. The access of the spirit into and through your mind helps spirit to come in to your being and keep your body healthy and rejuvenated through out the day.
On the other hand, thinking of the physical world is a narrow path. These thoughts only allow inner energy to enter through the work you have on your mind. If you are thinking about the latest argument you had or problem at work, you have virtually cut off access to your body health. If you are sick, or in pour health you are thinking of the pain or spreading disease. This way of thinking only accelerates the growth of you illness or problem. Sending the full power of your inner energy to a problem is a dangerous solution; it is sure to keep the problem in place or accelerate the growth of it.
Know you are a whole being living in this world with the other things around you. All the things, people and situations are fear to be a part of your experience and growth; spiritually. Do not consider them a choice in the thoughts you think, they are here to show you a way into you inner self. Think of all those people and things around you as energy props, the ones you want to stay around you, be grateful the others look past them.
The choice to think only of you inner energy self is the only path to a long, healthy and peaceful life.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Right Action

You can start the guided path to happiness and peace by right action. This is a conscious effort to think of giving in all of your actions. Training your brain to think in right action is easy, one interaction at a time. Every time you act, talk or react, stop and think "is this a positive action on my part?"
Every thought, and then action, creates karma, or an energy response. So know that you are consciously creating a positive world by censoring your thoughts first. Make the choice to give in all actions. When you give you are using the law of giving, this is a fast way to joy with your inner energy. When you go to the store, everyone you look at, think "Thank you for being in this space with me." You are creating a world of gratitude and love. If the time is right, say something, feel what is right in the moment.
Right action is in the moment, and keeps you centered in the moment, purposely creating positive energy or karma.
Even if you are at the point that you can not understand how this works, try it. At the end of the day you will look back and see that it helped your day go more smoothly. It may even create a great sense of joy when you do it. It does for me. The true trick is to integrate it into the actions between yourself and family or close people. This is the true place of karma.
The true benefit of right action is that over time you develop a true, solid sense of self esteem. This self esteem is built on your inner self and can not be taken, removed, or cut down by any others. You inner guide will show you that you are a beautiful being and a peace, through right action.

Friday, May 20, 2011

The Wall

We all have things to change in life. When life backs us into a corner and forces the change we sometimes feel blocked by the pain of it all, feeling as if the problems are insurmountable. These times can feel like a wall of pain. What I realized was that my wall was not the pain I thought it was,  it was what the goal represented. If you are stuck with the worry of the pain, yet feel like you have over come those lessons, look deeper.
I was with like minded people last night and we were all talking and I got some insight into my real fears. What I realized was that I was not worried about not being peaceful, that is what we were talking about. I have peace when I sit, and in the quiet times; it is in the times of everyday activity that I need peace. My greatest fear was not having it, or not being able to sustain it; as is the case. It hit me last night that I was at peace and that I needed to allow it to fill the active times in my life.
I was beginning to see the lack of peace as a wall of impossible proportions, forgetting all together that I am peaceful inside of the pain that has transpired in my life.
Peace is something I have valued for quiet some time and it has slowly taken over the majority of my fears. What I want in the end is to allow it to take over my life so I can be a clear vessel of healing love for those around me. I know that I need it in order to obtain these level of healing and heal my life too.
My experience last night was the opening that allowed me to see around my wall of fear. Now I feel at peace with allowing my life to unfold. If you are stuck, look for the things that your fear represents. It could create a window in your wall too.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Cry For Me

Have you ever started to think of someone or something and just had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to start crying? Do you just cry, without thought, without judgment? Or do you think that they need your help? Do you think of the last bad interaction that you had with them and cry for how it turned out, or how they have hurt you? Energy itself will ask you to cry for those that have hurt you. When you consciously ask to heal those that have hurt you, you are instantly healed yourself. Energy does this as the fastest way to heal you. The only problem is that we do not want to help those that we think have hurt us, so it takes longer to heal.

Did you now that you can cry for someone else? Did you know that that could heal their pain and that, in turn,  heals the collective energy pain? That is the highest form of healing; to know that you were overwhelmed by the pain of humanity, and that your tears were shed for the healing of the whole.

I have a little bird that has survived in my care. In the quiet times, I feel the magic that is contained in its existence. I am in awe that it is alive, but on one occasion I felt a deep pain for the mother that lost it. I have seen how birds and animals look and stand over there dead babies. There is a collective energy that is present in all living things that is as powerful as creation itself. To sit quietly and witness it and feel it brings awe into our world.

When I felt the pain of this little bird and the pain of its mother, I had an overwhelming sense of wanting to start crying. I knew that I could cry for them. This is no small task, You have to be able to go in and feel the pain, to allow the tears to heal and to walk away with the knowledge that you have just healed a small part of the collective pain that is growing in all the world.

There is much pain between mother and child for many of millennium and it is this that can help make others pain bearable enough to live another day.

Knowing we are here to let this energy pass through us and heal it on the way is a gift that will transform the world. It is the outlet that the energy itself uses to make life bearable for the people that are not able to be conscious in this life. So, cry. Do not judge.  Just know that you are whole and that you are making the world a better place for it.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Letting Go

One of the things I learned in the beginning of my book learning was that we choose other things that are against what our guide tells us. This is a core error that makes our lives miserable. I, of course, did not know how to stop this error from occurring, but wanted to only follow my inner energy. I was full of hope six years ago when I found out about this choice. What I did not know was how long it would take for my inner guide to refine my thoughts so that I could hear my inner energy. There was a process of learning all the ways in which I have blocked my intuition. Then a process of learning all the reasons that I will not listen to my guidance, or ignore it for my own choice. Now I have become conscious of all my behavior. That is the name of this game, to become conscious, or it is not choice. Choice only comes from the knowing of all the options and the knowledge of the true motives behind our actions.

Here I am at the crossroads of letting go of my agenda, wants, wishes, whatever you call it. In the end we let go in favor of the choice to follow the inner energy in all we do regardless of our own agendas. I am in a spot now that I am making a life choice and do not want to put myself in the hands of my smaller thinking self. I want to cut ties of all I know in this world and let the remainder of my life choices be guided by my inner energy. We all have our comfort zones in our lifetimes, yet I know now that I am just an energy being that is here to live out the energy that runs through me, creating a better world for the whole. All is a gift to us and I have to treat it as such, now that I know this in my heart. Every decision is meant to help the whole, not just me. I am happy about all of this. It brings joy to my heart to help the world.

I guess I am saying that my new comfort needs to come from the feeling that I get from following my inner guide, not anything that I knew or had in this lifetime. I have been here many times before and my inner guide has helped me through all my little letting-gos, but now I am at the point that I have to let go of all the things that I thought would give me comfort and peace. I do have a sense of peace and comfort from my relationship with my inner energy, I just am letting go of all the physical things that I thought would bring me joy. They do not bring me any joy anymore,so I am letting go of the thought that it will. I have a joy in knowing that I am interacting with energy that is deeper than anything I find here.

The Guided Path

Energy send you all the tools you need to advance on the path of understanding it. Energy is only good and we want and need to see the energy, or good in all things. I have been asking for help in this area of my thinking for some time now. Yesterday, I got the answer.
I went to an Autism Awareness meeting and talked to a behavior analyst. She reminded me of something a had learned a long time ago; to only talk when you appreciate something. I knew this and had done it for a few years when my kids were little and over the years, and through a harsh divorce, I had forgotten how wonderful this thinking is. Now that I have the mindset I see that I am being guided to finish my thinking by practicing what it takes to become the energy being I need to be. I am so grateful to have come around full circle. It is the reasoning I needed to have to save my sanity in this life.
Many people say "what about bad behavior?" Well, you do not have to tolerate it, you just do not have to discuss it either. We make the correction in a non-judgmental way and promptly tell the other person that we are happy they are doing a good job the minute they change what they are doing. You have to learn to compliment all that others do that is good, even the littlest things, and quietly correct the rest.
So simple, we all correct others with every move or word, whether we admit it or not, we do. So why not correct or reward others in a conscious way?
What I have found and what I knew before is that I feel so much more love in my heart when I am looking for the good in others to compliment them. I feel good that I am choosing this path and that I am helping them to see the good in themselves. I am so grateful that the path is guided along the way. It is so nice to know I am not alone.

Monday, May 16, 2011

A Little Bird

A little bird came to grace our home yesterday. As all these birds that we get in the spring, I had little hope that it would make it through the night. I have a ten year old that loves animals, and every spring we have a tossed out wild bird that we care for.
I did not have my usual worries about theses things when I went to bed. I was thinking of all the rest we had in the past, and I said a little prayer. Something along the lines that it will be, "ok"either way and that if it was meant to be, let it live. Some how, I knew that that prayer was the power that was going to bring life to it.
I had forgotten about it in the morning and when I came down I heard a little peeping! There was a quiet happiness in my heart, and little thought went in to its survival, and morning feeding. As I was walking the dog, I felt strong this morning.  I realized that the background fear had left me, in some way. My mind is clear and I feel left with the gratitude I have been praying so much for the past few weeks.
I am in a spot of change again in my life, everything is a little unknown at this time. I knew for a few days now I needed something to fill my thoughts so my inner energy could do its magic. It seems, I have been sent my blessing; the energy, in form of a bird, to get me through this time.
I am so grateful and in awe of how life really works when you really start to understand it. Somehow as delicate as a hairless bird and as magical as miracles can be.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Hurt people; Hurt People

This rings in my mind as a truth. When someone is lashing out it is hard to remember they are lashing out from a point of pain. Their anger covers their vulnerability, yet if you dig deep enough, and asked why long enough, you would uncover that someplace in time they are stuck in a pain pattern and are overcompensating for the pain they have experienced.
We all live in these pain patterns, and do not even see them as the lens that we view the world through. They have the ability to twist our perceptions and bring down our families and friends. Yet all they are is phantom memories. They are an emotional trace that we could not process at the time of the experience and over the years these memories have gained interest at the rate of destroying our interpersonal lives. If we could see how we punish others for our perceived injustices; based on our past experience, we would implode with pain.
We can all recover from this pain, once we get a glance at the concept that we are pushing our own neurotic pain on others. This awakening is the opening that inner energy needs to correct your pain and refine the best in you. It can be over come just with the knowledge that you do not want to hurt others anymore. You do not have to spend years in therapy digging up the countless pain spots that added to and trigger the pain episodes that make you lash out.
After the hurt subsides, from an argument, see the pain in others. Have compassion for the worries and fears that rule there lives. We do not have to allow others to continue to hurt us, yet we can have compassion and distance ourselves from there pain. Some people live in a constant low grade pain they can not even recognize and they even think this is happiness, in some cases. I know people that live with this kind of pain and pass it on to generation after generation, they have lived like this and think it is happy, or the best they can get; I am not sure which.
I do not recommend you point this out to anyone, just keep it in your heart of knowledge  and live a better life for it. Knowing that others will hurt you based on there fears and worries takes out the pain of the wound they are trying to inflict. So, next time you are lashed out at; remember hurt people, hurt people.

Friday, May 13, 2011

Touch Our Lives

The people and situations of our lives are supposed to touch our lives. There is an energy that is here to transform us, it is in the details of our lives. We are not meant to effect others and walk away, although that can touch your life too. Yet the family we have is the hardest to learn form; those are the details that touch us the most.
I live with my mom, and she does not want to be effected by my life. She is set in keeping me at a distance. So I will not make changes in her life. This is nice, yet we never grow this way. We never come into our fullest potential. The only way be become the best is if  we learn new ways, and others are the carriers of that new ways.
When you hold others away from you, you are energetically saying they are not worthy of emotional investment. You are wanting them to see you as the best, because they have not succeeded in anything worthy of learning. Now you may think this, yet it is very untrue. Energy collides our lives to learn, it is in perpetual motion to better itself, i.e. us, the energy beings. If you refuse to learn, it brings on disease and premature death, you are blocking energy, by refusing to grow. This block slows down the energy frequency of your cells and then causes illness.
Others are not supposed to think you are the best; you are supposed to think they are the best. Life is supposed to be a mutual admiration society, with humility injected to keep us humble about the gifts we bring to the world. The next time someone upsets you, ask your inner energy how you are supposed to see the situation. What about the exchange should transform you?

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Discipline Where You Are

Discipline is what it takes to be successful at what you are doing. We may have success, yet discipline will push you over the edge to being the best. I am not talking about doing an extreme make over on your life. I am saying to start with your life as it is.
I am a mom I wanted to be a great mom. I also believe in peace and love, as in the way Jesus, Buddha, Dali Lama,and many others teach it. I believe that living this way is the only way we are going to effect change in the world; ie to bring peace the the world. So I started there. I say the times that I got mad at the kids for not behaving; I forced myself to correct, or state how would be a better way to behave, and I let it go. I saw the times when I let my anger fester about the way the kids did not do what I asked, and I forced myself to be happy. I have lived with the same adversities that many moms do these days and saw myself being a low grade upset. I forced myself to be happy in all situations. I want to teach my kids the value of happiness during adversity; after all they will have plenty of adversity in there lifetimes, why be unhappy? Adversity always changes, but your choice or chance to be happy does not.
I started discipline with what I had to work with, you can too.We all have beliefs that we have and do not live by; we all have lives that can be improved. Discipline is deciding to make what you believe and how you act work as one in this world of seductive options. Not all things are options when it comes to your discipline, but in the end you will be a better person for starting were you are and using self discipline to become a true mind, body, spiritual success.

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Spiritual Rule #1

The laws governing the spiritual world are as concrete as the physical rules of gravity. The first one is to stay in the present time. It is an easy concept, yet extremely hard to do. I will admit that you have to have an iron will, and extreme self discipline. All of this is helped along by your inner guide. Many say that I am very militant in my thinking. I know that that is what it takes to be good at something; discipline. Ask anyone that runs marathons, makes millions and those that obtain self consciousness; it takes discipline.
I have spent most of my life being undisciplined, and have had a rough life for it. I also know that as I have become more disciplined my mind, body and spirit have become more congruent. By congruent, I mean that they all work together. This has brought peace and a sense of knowledge that transcends all that I have learned.
The deeper you come to becoming congruent, the more you realize that you have to give up all thoughts that keep you from your present moment. What we realize is that we spend a lot of time correcting others and situations in our minds. What these thoughts are are a form of vengeance on others and the world. A reduced form of background, mind warfare we have grown to love because of our need to be right and prove this to others.
Complaining and wishing anything is other than it is will keep you form living in the moment. We have grown up to believe that what we see, feel and touch; or prove we are right, is of more value than our authentic selves. When we live in this world we are always subject to humiliation and pain, from retaliation of those we have overpowered in this level.
Being in the moment is our only true power. You can affect change from here and live a peaceful life. So use your will power to be in service to the present moment, you will have the power of the universe backing you.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Two Meanings

Everything in this world can be taken from two different perspectives. Well it could have more, but generally two; the worst or the best. Other people will read what you are doing from the perspective that they would live by. You can not be responsible for how they feel, or perceive.
I have been in a friendship with someone for four years now, this relationship does not progress very far because when it starts to pick up; the other person gets mad that it is not progressing. I find myself always hopeful that things will go along smoothly, then they do not. Sometimes it amazes me how innocently I see the world, I am sure others think this same way; at least I have been told this. Yet I do not think of my life this way, as I am chugging along. I also want everyone to feel loved, so I haven't tainted myself with thinking the worst; for the most part.
I realized tonight that I am being seen in a way that is not in my ability to behave. I could not take advantage of another, I would feel so bad that I had hypocritically gone against what I have been learning and practicing. Yet this person has been telling me I have been taking advantage of him, for years. In the past I had defended myself and told my side of the story, to show that I did not think this way. Yet tonight I felt this intuition and moved in a different way, not relying on him. My heart goes out to him; that he thinks this of me. I had no such thoughts or feelings. I have always seen him as a friend and ally. With not many alternatives to turn to, I have been excited that he was such a friend.
My intuition guided me tonight to stay clear of this situation, because of the double meaning of the situation. Knowing this, I realized that I just wanted to be grateful and find someone else to help me. Finishing a relationship out of love is new to me, but I am so grateful that I am. I will admit that I have not handled any other relationship in such a gentle way.
I realize that the way I see my actions may never be seen or understood by others. What matters to me is that I deal with the world out of the Grace within me, guided by my inner spirit.

Sunday, May 8, 2011


I am so tired of defending myself. Those around me do not think of life like I do and they do not see the way I act and behave as a whole picture, as I do. Did you ever get to the point that you know it is not in anyone's better interest to continue to state the truths in your life? I am here. Those around me ask why I do what I do, and they want an answer; but they want me to defend my point of view because they do not want to see things as I do.
People want you to explain; they want you to state your point so they can tell you why you are wrong. They ask why, yet there are so many reasons why, and we can not go into them all. The truth is that the world runs on many threads and they are not all explainable in one setting. As a whole we are doing the best for the people around us. Well some do better that others, but still, why debate? We are still doing the best we can for the level of understanding that we are at.
I have someone that is always looking for an explanation for my behavior. Then they use it to tell me I am not doing justice for them. I understand they feel that way, and in there eyes I am not. So why keep debating this subject? If you do not get what you want either change your mind, understand you can decide to want something different, or move on to find what you want. But why continue to rehash your points over the years and cause drama in your own and others lives.
I do live by what I teach and write here, my heart is at peace with my life; for the first time in my life. I do not write about it until I have learned the lesson, or I could not articulate it so well. So I think, in the bigger picture, I am a good person at heart. I also realize that I am no longer going to argue or defend myself. I will state the way I feel and how I felt at the time; and let others have there interpretations for themselves. Others will always see things the way they want because they are doing there best to process there lives to. No more arguing for me, I want to just be.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Guidance Appropriate

You will get guidance according to your level of understanding. As your levels change so does your guidance. Energy works with you, so you can follow it, but it does require the best of you. That means that what it asks you to do may be just out of the realm of what you think possible; or that it is an automatic response to help another, something that if you gave it thought, you would not ordinarily do.
At different levels of your understanding you will be open to different options that you could not do before you understood more. The higher you ascend in you relationship with your inner guide; the clearer your peace with your guidance will be.
So when you start this path, you may want to be a help to others in some way; then as you learn that path you realize you would be better at a specialty, just outside of what you thought. Now you learn more and become more personal with your inner guide; you will realize you want to help in a deeper way. All this is learning specific, it is according to your level of emotional maturity. It is also according to a clearer level of relationship with your inner energy.
This evolution of your needs and service to your inner energy is a path that ever refines the quality of service you can provide to the world.
Most of us start out wanting some form of recognition for our efforts and as we progress we realize that it is the quality of service that matters most. I always wanted to help others in my life. Recently, I realized that I do. I just help, quietly, those around me to be the best that they can be. My inner guide has taught me a lot and I know that I have not had a lot of time to help others the conventional way, in the public work place. Yet I see the continuity that has developed in what I have learned and what I want has transformed. At one time I wanted to be appreciated and well known for all that I know about spirit and psychology. Now, I want to practice quietly and heal those in spiritual crisis. I also see now that I am doing that in some form and that it is a true gift to the world, even if it is not recognized as such.
Hang in there and know that as you become a better energy being, you will have better things to bring to the world. You will evolve and move in a better direction. So, do not be frightened of your changes. Your guidance will always give you challenges that are appropriate for your level of gifts to the world.