Saturday, April 30, 2011

Loved or Trapped?

The way we talk will tell the truth about how we love. Our minds are tricksters, they like to make us think we do things for great reasons; but our language gives away our true motives. I will tell you that when you do realize the reality of the thoughts you think, your motives become pure. Energy runs through you, bringing life to all you do, and you. Yet we as humans have the free will to do what we want with that energy.
We all start out on a low level of understanding about love, we are taught this kids, to love our family. This small way is a physical way the tribe, or family keeps us under wraps. They teach us to love back even if love hurts, this is the physical way of keeping the tribe alive. Now understand this is energy, and we act it out with out even knowing about it. Anyway, energy comes into us and we say we are doing things out of love, yet we are really trying to get others to think we are the best, and change them so they will conform to what we want.
Now the truth can be found in what we say, or what we get upset about. I also want to say again that what we do is pure; but if you do not understand it, it is not pure love. This is the definition of consciousness. OR maybe you have added the weight of the physical world and made it a trap.
Here is the example, I have a friend, ok, ex-husband that has always wanted me to come back to him. We have remained friends and he helps me out a lot, both monetarily and companionship wise. Now, he has chosen, for four years to work on his own, not get a steady job. He has gone through four different company startups and dissolutions. All this was his choice to make a company and make it rich, so he could provide for us as a family. Now, along the way he has not been a steady provider and we have been in poverty all along. Now I left him for other reasons too, and money is only one of them. Well his choice to say that he was going to provide and then not do so. I can respect a person that knows there limits and says they can't provide, that is honest, honesty is respectable. Holding someone captive until you get it together is not admirable. Back to the subject, Language, he continues to be upset with me when I am not happy with him, or am not happy to see him. His argument is, "I have never worked so hard, why can't you be happy".  I have been trying to explain that we need a break, I see the energy as he wants to fill the energy place that provides the money for me as a family. I also know that if he is honest and says that he cant provide The energy will flow from some other place, energy flows were there is a need. If I do not rely on him to fill the need, energy itself has to find another out let. I also knowthat the time apart will heal us as individuals

Intuition as Guide

When I started this path, I wanted to know my intuition. Mostly I wanted to understand how it communicates with me, what I found out was that it was talking to me all the time, I was ignoring it. Inner energy is subtle and is drowned out by any fears. It is something you can not understand if you do not practice listening and following it.
In the beginning I was full of thoughts of how I was going to maneuver in this world, and the thoughts that others had put into my head about not being good, or that I would be poor if I took this path. All those fears and insecurities spoke louder than the reality that inner energy can overcome. Yet we all have these thoughts and worries, but they have to be brought to your attention before you can see them and learn differently.
Once we disconnect from the myths we learned to believe in, we have to deal with the myths that we create that we are entitled to a good life, or love in return. We are supposed to get them, but we are supposed to earn them also. From an energy level, we earn them and if we do not get them we can not be mad. It is either that we are putting our energy in the wrong place or we are not being patient. Either way we are not focused on giving. Giving is the key to endless return, on an energy level. The full measure of inner connection is to have the feeling of inner connect at all times. We are then open to feeling intuition all the time. All this happens at it own pace, and as soon as you are willing to follow.
There are many ways we can become intuitive and they are dependent on your personal skills. Each of us has unique abilities that connect us with our inner self, and theses are the ways through witch we can best help the world. We learn about our abilities through intuition itself. That is what makes us happy in an eternal way is what we have to give, like I love to help others. I brings me endless joy to know I am serving someone else. I feel this way in all circumstances, whether it be money, time or just a kind thought. Theses are energy levels in their own way, from lower energy of money to time witch is a middle energy, to thought a higher energy. When you cover all the levels it is an eternal gift, knowing that energy runs through you. This is the gift of connection to inner guide, and the true measure you are reading your intuition.
Intuition is a feeling that runs in our gut, or nervous system, so you have to practice sitting and feeling it so when you need it you can feel your way out of life's hard times. We are used to relying on our five senses, we get taught that in kindergarten. But to be your true self and be the most fulfilled you have to learn to be guided by your intuition.

Friday, April 29, 2011

You Are Right

I have come to understand that others are always right. Even if I am right for me I know that others are right for them, and that leaves me wrong, in there eyes. There is grace in this is knowledge; that I am strong and defined by my choices not defined buy others perceptions. I have thought that I was defined by the way others saw me. Then I realized that they are never going to see the real me; they are looking at me through the lens of there thoughts. So everything is filtered and interpreted through how they are relating to what they see.
Others do not see that I do things out of the love of grace, they see that I am doing what I do through how they think. To finally understand this and to come to terms with the idea that no matter what is said, I will be wrong in the majority of others lives, is a humbling experience. It keeps me in the knowledge that I must keep my energy in a state of humility. Knowing that all I do can be interpreted in two ways: I want to emanate to the world that I serve it and not myself. The energy itself that I serve is the very energy I emanate to. There will be others that do not see or feel my security, they are meant to move away, as I am meant to move away from them. I know my own intent, within my intent is the power I need to change the world.
There is a peace to knowing that they are right for them. There is peace in my heart that I do not have to go on and on explaining my point of view. A silent power has come to prevail in my world, it has come from the knowledge that you are right and that I am too.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Energy Magic

I think it is magical how energy works, when you release the worry about if it works. I am always amazed at how energy rearranges my life. When I am in a situation that requires me to just sit and wait, it always creates some thing that tells me the answers.
We all have had those times when we need change and do not know how it will happen, our brains search for the many ways we can do what we want. Always the change is something that takes time to happen and we are in a hurry to make it happen.
I have for a while wanted to have an equal relationship with a friend yet I know that equality comes after I become whole. Wholeness changes perception to include the whole of the world, as close as you can get to it in this world. I want to be responsible for the things I say and do, and not create more karma, or negative patterns in this life. Essentially Being whole will give me a closer reality of how energy is running and how I am taking it personally on a earthly basis. Every time there is an opportunity to meet, see or interact on a closer level I pray that the energy within will show me the way. Each time something comes up, creating some chaos. I pray that we either have a smooth time or that that same energy give me a sign. Always, and I mean always, this person gets upset in some capacity, about how I act toward him. The majority of the complaints are about me not liking him enough. I just want him to be happy, yet he does not feel happy with me. If he does, it is only as a friend and I have encouraged him to leave it that way for now. We do get along in a friendship way, I enjoy his companionship.
Something about the energy in the 'us' part is not right now and I can not get him to see this reality. Yet he feels it and acts it out every time there is a opportunity to meet. I am not worried about this anymore, I know that the energy within me, and us will work it out. I used to try to tell him that he does not want to be with me, and that was a total failure! Yet I feel it and know that I need the energy in me to make me whole before we can have a relationship that works.
Energy has been magical for me, even though it has taken me time to understand how to use it, what to do with the information and how to talk about it. I still love it and find it totally magical how it works.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011


When you follow the guided path you will find love for all, but your family will become those that you grow with. Many of us, as adults, find ourselves out growing our families. Faced with the realization that we are no longer energetically connected to the tribal ways we were brought up with, we wonder the value of family.
I have understood that I have chosen to grow spiritually and I talked to my mom about this regularly. A while ago I thought it was a good idea to move closer to my family, so I could have the physical and emotional support I needed. I had talked to my mom for years about this move. It is coming up on a year now and I have come to the realization that this is not the family that will nurture and love me the way I need to be my best. I know now that my mom just listened to me before, but now will not listen. She does not want to grow, she wants to control. I will tell you that, on this path, you can not control; when you try you will hate yourself for the hypocrisy. I have gone through all the feelings that we all go through with family, abandonment and rejection. In the end I have come around to know this is not about me, it was a lesson in love that I needed. To see my family, life and all that happens through the lens of energy and grace.
The people I call family are not my family anymore, they are strangers that do not wish me the best. They wish me the way they want me, not for the beautiful person I am. I wanted my kids to know and learn about family that loves and grows together. This kind of family overcomes the illusions of the world and chooses to love despite the many things we dislike about one another. A family of love chooses to love over all the judgments that make us disappointed and angry with each other.
I know that we are all to learn through these lessons in life, we are to learn theses things the most through our family. They are the cosmic beings that are here to make us into the beautiful beings of grace we need to evolve into. I also know that there is a time that we learn to love despite the adversity that our family brings. We learn to understand that they are not doing any thing to hurt us, they are trying to navigate this world with the skills they know work for them.
I learned that I will not give or allow my family to take my energy and make me feel less. In this decision I know that they will never embrace me as the person I am. I also know that real family wants to know me as a beautiful being, and I do not belong here anymore. It has become a healing and I have learned to love my mom for her efforts, despite the concept that her efforts do not nurture me or others. She, in her way, loves me and those around her the best she can, so my family has become the place I am meant to visit and not dwell.
I will say that true family is still a place that brings love to our hearts. A place of peace that will heal us and help us see ourselves as whole in times of adversity. A nest of beings that we know we can turn to when we need to know our true joy of being.

Home Again

Home is a energetic place of Grace, it is the space in time that you feel safe, at peace and loved. At times in life it may be in your mind and other times it is in a physical space. Yet at all times it is the place that you are not judged, condemned or kept down. This is an energy pattern, that we all evolve to learn, as the place of peace within no matter the circumstance of the outer world.
I have learned that we do not feel this grace until we learn worthiness. It comes through the constant criticism of others; it is the necessity of coming to the knowledge that we are great beings because we choose a higher form of thought in times of adversity. Others do not see our worthiness it is a silent path of kindness and love, in times that we are persecuted over our choices.
Our choices are not necessarily wrong in and of themselves, they are choices that do not allow others to control us. Our choice to think of kindness toward other when they are condemning us is a form or protection. It is the choice for power and not victimization. It keeps the energy of the ability to be strong, in choice, within our power. You see when others condemn you they are making you wrong, and they are energetically taking your energy power because they are right. All this is done unconsciously, yet it is the energy exchange that takes place in this world. this is the pattern that keeps people up or down, or up and down.
In the end we learn this pattern through the pain of life and come to love those that try to persecute us. Once you have learned; the persecution is over, you can move on with a love. This love allows you to say, they can have there thoughts and I can still be at home in my skin. Powerful to have made the choices that you have made.
When all is said, what I have learned is that home is within. It is the place that I am embraced with love despite my differences. Once we find this place we remove ourselves from those that keep trying to gain power through our choices. We also see that we have been this strong in the past and that it will never be any different in the future. We are home again, eternally at home.

Sunday, April 24, 2011


Freedom of spirit is the ability to see yourself as an energetic being and not feel responsible for the restrictions that others live by. Freedom is a spiritual truth that we feel to our cores. Much of this freedom we know as our heritage is acted out in some negative way, energetically inflicting pain on ourselves and others. Inherently we know that we are free in spirit, yet learning to release ourselves in the physical world is the path of allowing our energy to free us of the lies of this world.
I see every day that those around me, and no one else is different, that the people in my life want me to live according to their views. Now I will admit they have a truth to some degree in there logic, but their logic is based on the physical world alone. It does not take into account that we are spiritual beings and have the energetic power to create anything we have been inspired to create. Is can be a great frustration, a lack of freedom in many respects. If you can choose to see this life energetic scenario as a choice, you can see that they are trying to get you to behave in their way so they do not have to grow in their emotional development. It is also an emotional development for you, and me, that we learn to see yourselves as part of this energy but removed from the limitations it has to offer, otherwise disconnect from this energetic lie society lives under.
Freedom comes when we see that we are strong enough to create our realities, knowing that we are part of the whole but not governed by it. We can live in a world that is at peace with what is and feel free of the limitations this world has to offer.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Emotional Assignation

Your thoughts have power, so every thought you think goes to a target. If you think negatively about others, judge them, find them wrong, you are emotionally assigning them. We have all done this in some form, to find something we do not like about others behavior and think or talk about it with another. This is a form of abuse that goes un-talked about. Many of us do not want to live up to this kind of integrity. We have a million excuses like "what will we talk about?", for instance.  The truth is that as we mature emotionally, we do have things to talk about, they are different things, like ourselves and ideas that we want to explore. Life becomes full of good things and better things to talk about. I have found that it is of no use to talk about the things I do not like, the power that is needed to do so is needed elsewhere. I like peace and what it brings with it, and you can't have peace if you are always thinking and discussing all that is wrong in your life.
I will be the first to admit that it has been a long road in learning this lesson. When you follow the guided way, you will notice patterns. This one is at the end of the pattern for me. The end always brings a little "hair of the dog", or a little of my own medicine. Gratefully, when I am about to learn something in the highest order, I have to experience it on the other end, the one I have been dishing out for years. It is not the easiest pill to swallow, but I know it is what I need to never do it again. Peace of following your inner energy allows you to see that others are "OK" if they do not do things the way you think is best. You start to see all of others' lives as the best they can do. If this is effecting your life, you know it is time to move on and let them have their views until they are in enough pain to change it.
In this way of pattern learning, we all come full circle to understanding that life is whole. That we did what we did out of energy, and now the energy is purified by the pain of the path. I have understood different levels of emotional assignation for a while, but it always has to run the course of knowledge to the knowing.

Friday, April 22, 2011


Healing is a journey of empowering others, situations and places. When you walk along your guided path you start to understand that your highest potential is your healing, and that it is the conscious choice to empower every thing in life.
The truth is that you can go to therapy for ever, trying to get over all  that has and is being done to you, but you will not heal from this. You will just become a complainer.
Healing begins when you see that your mind has to be in the current moment; and the current moment holds only the energy of your inner being. Your thoughts have to be with the power of the universe to heal you to your highest potential. You are nothing but that same energy; and you have to become what you are to allow the source to heal you.
I have a friend that says he does not want a belief system that makes him change his thoughts so far away from the physical world reality. He thinks that it is a form of lying, or denial to see life like this. The reality is that everyone has to deny the whole reality that they are who they are, to believe in the physical world. So which denial is the best? I have experienced them both and can say that to deny my true reality; that I am a energy being, is to embrace a life of constant pain, in some from. I can also say that to be an energy being and embrace this reality is empowering and a true joy.
Healing comes from the daily exchange of old thought to the new thoughts, of who we really are. When we believe and act out of our new reality we empower the world and all that is in it. Learning and knowing that every action is an opportunity to help others, situations and places; that is healing to its highest potential.

Thursday, April 21, 2011


There is only one form of selfishness that is not of this world, and that is the only one to have.
Selfishness is growing, since the 80s', we have become so worried about our aging, self development, and acquiring things. Yet, we have not moved on to the next step in evolution, selflessness, or selfishness for selflessness.  We have learned so much about mental health and we spend hours at the therapist and then tell our friends how life is going, always bad. This is the language, we communicate with, a mutual one up on another; who has it worse. Getting rights to sympathy for the latest trauma we have had to deal with.
Moving on to the next step of evolution in this growth of selfishness is that we understand we are here to serve others, regardless of our own wants. With this knowledge comes a selfish protection to ourselves in how we live out and protect our guidance. We also come to the understanding that we have to be selfish about our time and energy investments. Only devoting thought, which is creating, on our inner energy. Selfishness takes on a whole new meaning, and it does not have anything to do with what we get in return. The evolution of the mind, takes you in to understanding that thinking about inner energy is the power, creating takes to create.
Selfishness takes on a whole new meaning when we are selfishly protecting the inner energy, or the whole universe. Yes this is a form of protecting the whole, only guidance from the whole can be information that is best for all. So feel your inner self, live through it and have the strength to protect it selfishly.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Inspired Thought

When you have a thought that is inspired, it will repeat on different occasions. This is a clue that you should follow the guidance that you have received. These thoughts will repeat in your head and make you feel good. They are also ideas just outside of your ability. Always your inner energy is pushing you forward, wanting you to learn and stretch out of your current thought. How fast you follow this guidance will determine how fast you change your life.
Be determined in thinking only of the step at hand. Your single-mindedness will keep the guidance in focus and protect you from faltering. Each step you follow will bring you closer to the life you will feel complete with. Sometimes the guidance does not fit in with what we think we want, if we follow it, we end up with better lives than we could have believed in.
I have been struggling with this myself. I have one friend that has helped me keep what I thought of as my life intact. Yet the reality is that I pray every night that my life will change, and I want it to change in a way that no one I know; knows much about. My inner guidance has been to let go of some of the involvement in this relationship; but for selfish reasons I never felt I could survive. I recently realized that I needed to spend more time with my inner energy; OK, I knew, I was avoiding the guidance. Now that I have followed it, spent just three nights just quiet, I feel more at peace.
My level of peace has increased because I brought my level of continuity up higher. Before I was thinking of my inner energy and then of I had a pain of loneliness I would call, fill my time with physical world things. Now I have found a deep peace in my seamless connection to my inner energy. I find myself eating less and thinking more about my inspiration, leaving the rest. There is always a thought that will let in a fear, show you a worry. Now I refuse to listen to those ordinary thoughts. They got me into this mess in the first place.
Thoughts of inspiration are easer to think about also. They release me from pain of life and create a new world that I know I will be doing more in service to the world. After all one of my inspired thoughts was to do this blog, and that has brought healing and peace to my life that I never had before.

Tuesday, April 19, 2011


The truth of wholeness is that we live, feel and know we exude an energetic power. The path of wholeness is to slowly learn that you are emitting energy that changes the world around you. I have said this for a year now and it has been in my mind as a peace of knowledge, yet not as a from of living. This is two different worlds of living. We can know something as a form of knowledge we have learned, yet we have not known it as a way of life. There is an energy pattern hear that has to be lived.
A person can go to school for six years studying about honey, travel around the world lecturing about honey. They can call themselves a honey expert and have works published about honey, but have never tasted honey. They have never experienced honey, they do not know honey in there being, as an energy knowing.
Knowing the reality of what I say is to know wholeness and healing. It is to follow a path to your highest potential through living it; not studying it and acquiring more knowledge. Start your relationship with your inner energy now and start to experience your inner power now. Take the time to acquire the skills that help you feel the reality of this knowledge. Doing is the only path to knowing.

Monday, April 18, 2011


The energy of the volunteer is of service to the world. Believe it or not, there is a quality of volunteering that you can grow and mature from.
At first, we are taught that we volunteer in the community. This is nice, but it is physical. It gets you acknowledgment. In a selfish way it lets you feel good because you have openly helped and the world knows it. The next level of volunteer is going to help others in hospice or some other kind of other pain. That starts to effect your life because you are getting involved emotionally. Now we all get involved emotionally, but that is not how you can help, to the best of your ability. Remember to focus on the good, or inner energy, is what transforms the situation.
The last level is when you learn to volunteer with something deep, like taking care of an aging person, or nursing. To be able to do this with out depleting your emotional resources is the highest form of emotional maturity. It is to learn that fallowing this energy is a calling, and that it has to be done in the energy itself, regardless of the outcome. That you do make a difference, even when no one acknowledges that. To know that you are part of a bigger energy and that energy works through you is the evolution of the volunteer energy.

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Mother's Energy

Mother energy is a path you are called to live by your inner energy. We all live out energy patterns, they define our lives and they are a starting point that evolves and matures us to emotional maturity. In the beginning we have a baby and fall in love with it. But this love we find as we grow becomes unconditional over time, it changes its own parameters and the parameters of our lives. When our kids do something we think wrong, we listen and find that, that is what they need in their lives. Sometimes we find that it is not what we wanted, but it works, because it is what is needed in their lives. It opens our minds about how love is, when it needs to support others.
Mother energy is also very protective, now I have seen a mix of ability to live this, but I will say it. A maturation of mother energy is protective over all else. Protection is a primary need for children, they need to know that someone is in there corner. This brings an emotional safety to there world they do not have otherwise. I, and I see, many others struggle with this one because we fear abandonment. The reality of the situation is that when we protect our kids it is always the right thing to do. They see that you are trying to look out for their best interests, even if you do not succeed, they see that they are worth speaking up for and that their needs are important to you. This promotes their knowledge that they, and their needs, are worthy in this world.
Even within relationships I have learned the ways we emotionally abuse each other. As a mother, I have done my best to inform my kids and those around us about abuse. The one thing I have found is that I am proud of the knowledge I have gained and the ability to live it through my inner energy. When I speak up to someone I know that the energy that supported me in speaking up will make the changes. I see that even if the person does not change or stop the behavior.
I also know that this is the same energy that is of the universe, it in itself is a mother energy, protecting us as we walk, guided, on this path.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Love The World

You can love the world and do your best for it through your inner energy. When you feel your inner energy as something that is always with you; you are living through it. This creates the best world for the world. Each of us is a little world inside the outer world, all that we choose effects the world in the whole. We all fit together like clogs in a clock. When you access your inner world, through your inner energy field, you are cooperating with the whole universe.
Because we have such a limited vocabulary, in comparison to the universe, what we call the energy of the world equates to love. Love as the universe sees it is so vast, it includes all of the feelings of the world, but it is the depth that makes cooperating so worthwhile. When you cooperate with this feeling, you feel the peace and love in return, as if the energy itself is thanking you. What we call love seems so ordinary and selfish, once we feel the truth of the love we have with the energy of the world.
There is a quieting of the mind when we look for the feeling that connects us to the energy we have with the universe. Once we get quiet, the peace turns into love so great. After a while we see that we love all in the world, because all things and people bring the opportunity for that love in some form.
All you need to do is value that love more than every thing in this world. What you want will stay and the rest will fall away. So love the world as a reason to live the best life you can live.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011


I have to tell you, you will not be able to live with integrity until you have fallowed your inner energy. When you live life, it is in the physical world, and we share, barter, and steal in this world. There is not integrity in this life, because you will always need something that you will rely on others to help you get. If you know their energy, which we do, and they will not help unless you lie, steal or shave the truth, you will not be able to live in integrity. Now when you move your thought into your energy world, that world starts to help you get the things you need with out those physical world means.

At some point in the transition I started to question how I could teach my children the value of honesty and still lie around them. I had a long talk about it with them, explaining how important it is to live with generosity, not judgment. This energy of generosity is giving and people do not feel obligated to lie to you to get what they need. I also explained that when inner energy is the way we express ourselves we feel confident enough to be honest, and not let others judgment, rule our minds. It is through living in that energy that we become better people and then we start to define our selves as the good people we are.
It all has a snowball effect. Being able to live with integrity creates integrity. Living through inner energy is freedom of the heart that you are creating in a whole way. Until you have this view, safety in the truth is not a concept we can live by. We are unable to feel safe moving into the unknown, to create total honest lives. Little by little, the energy world brings you into living through it, creating a world of integrity.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Your inner energy is a magnet, that attracts to you all the things you think of. The pain of that is, that you may not like what is happening, so you will experience more of what you do not want. In the end the energy is making changes in your thinking, boiling down your thoughts to a simple one, you are cared for by me; the inner energy. The semi-conscious pain is a way to refine your thoughts and in the end, your life becomes peaceful, miraculous, and all that you want.
A long the way you learn that what you thought you wanted was not what you wanted, or that it is no longer needed. As you journey with your guide you will find that you are wanting different things and need things you did not know you needed in the beginning. Sometimes, you can boil down an emotion, or what you think you want, to a true need. Emotions are the perfect guide. You can feel the need of wanting to support yourself, and boil it down to an energy life lesson. This is the energy of self support, and freedom. Now, all of us need this for survival. So it is a big energy pull, but if you step back you will see that your are supported, even if that support does not come from who. or what. you think it should. Now remember that, energy rule "all is one", now you are being supported by yourself. I have for a long time struggled with this one, sometimes in my life selling my soul, or emotional development for support. We all do this at some point, but the idea is that when it is a common theme, it is worth understanding deeper.
Your universal energy will support you, monetarily if needed. It is the energy that creates, moves and redistributes money. All you need to do is see it the way it sees the money. I have been wanting to support myself for a while, but I have someone in my life that wants to support me. This has caused me a great deal of pain, because I would like to change the dynamics of that relationship. Today I gave up and asked for help, to see this differently. I guess what I am trying to say, is that, energy itself has to support you the only way it can until you see it differently. Now I see that the energy is in fact supporting me, the only way it can, because I think of it that way. Now I see it supporting me and have freed my mind of the thought of non-support. Changing my mind of its original medium of support, is the freeing of the thought of how my life is working, Now, a new thought of how I will be supported can come in. The new thought then can change the physical world.
Energy can and wants to change your life but the change can only happen as fast as we can let go of how we see the world we live in or how fast we can let energy itself be the only thing we think of.

Monday, April 11, 2011


When you cooperate with your inner energy it cooperates with you. I was at the store today and witnessed a mom, so frustrated that her kids kept asking for more. I know that feeling, I have been thinking of this for a few weeks and it has gone from me feeling as if my kids do not cooperate, to the world not cooperating. I started to see that it is not all these people and things, but me. My kids are not supposed to cooperate, they are kids. The world is not supposed to do it either, but it will; when I cooperate with it.
We are not entitled to anything, but when we follow the energetic rules, we get back what we put in. It is like following the rule of gravity. We do not think of the rule, we just follow it and nothing falls on our head or toes. So if we follow the energy rule that what we think about is what we get; it works.
What I realized was that I was thinking that things were not working out the way I wanted, so they weren't. I came to understand it was the last of my old thinking that I just did not believe in how this energy thing works. What I know now is that I was just looking for it to work in one area, it sure has worked in a lot of my life. I have countless things to say have improved and have countless things to be grateful for. I have sat with my inner energy and come to see that I had a residual feeling of disbelief. It resonated in me like a nervous cat. I let it go with the help of my inner self and now have a peace deeper than I knew could exist. All of a sudden I feel like the world is cooperating with me. As if it wants to cooperate, and all of my interactions have gotten better, smoother.
I guess I have to say to cooperate with the energy of the world you have to feel it cooperating with you. Even when you think it is not helping, working things out; you have to feel it cooperating. The energy works out all things when the time is right for all the people involved, but it is still cooperating. I know this because I feel it now.


When you repeat behavior it is an opening to look at how you feel. Many times we think situations in our lives are different, but if you look close you will see that they are related. If you have your feelings hurt repeatedly, think about why. Ask yourself how you need to feel and what you really want the other person to be like. Ask many "why" questions. Keep asking why, until you have an answer that is deep in your soul. Use this information to understand reality of expectations.
I have an acquaintance that feels left out a lot. When others have an activity planed, if she finds out, she will say they left her out. She also projects this on her kids, saying others have left out her kids. I have another that repeatedly feels unloved. This person needs to hear "I love you" many times a day, and judges the barometer of the relationship on it. A whole world is built around how many or little "I love you's", they get in a given period of time. This same person needs to hear that I want to see them, verbally. It is not enough to feel safe with how well we get along. If "I cant wait to see you", or "I can't wait to hold you", is not muttered, he thinks I do not like him enough. The real energy is that of insecurity, and it is a demanding energy. I have broached the subject, knowing full well that I have no control over admitting the issue. These fears stick deep in our psyches. We disguise our fearful  behaviors in good motives, projecting on to another's our own lack of respect.
When I would find myself in these situations of pain, I would sit and think how I may have added to the situations. Many times we, ourselves, can not see the situations clearly because of the cloud of pain we emit. When you sit and ask the inner energy to help, the true reasons are revealed. Somehow that energy  helps us understand our true fears, and our fears reveal our true motives.
True motives, our minds cannot handle, they are so painful that we have to hide them from ourselves. But, true motives cause repeats in pain we experience. The way out of the repeated pain is through the inner energy.

Lower Standards

I have noticed a lowering of standards in our society. On television, the teens talk about not doing so much, or of doing a shoddy job so that the parents will do the work instead of expecting them to help. I was also thinking of how others tell me my kids are too much work, they should do more.
My next thought was that the parents of other generations did not do as much for their kids, so the kids had to do more. I like being present for my kids. I like spending my time and energy on them, and I think it is a good example of quality of life they need to look for in a partner, when they grow up. If their partner is not present and available for them they will have unhappy partnerships. They should understand that relationships take effort and devotion. I know that I do not want to lower my standards in relationships for the sake of my kids doing for others. I think I am living by example, to be dedicated to them, and show love in all I do.
I know in my heart that the energy I spend on others is the higher standard that all emotional beings should look and strive for. We are, by design, miraculous beings and feel the best when our lives are lived through this dedication. It brings out the best in others and myself when I strive for giving my best.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Reality is Subtle

Reality of inner energy is very subtle. It can build a momentum of power in no time. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is not the highs and lows of coffee, spicy foods, and sex. Energy is more like a flowing breeze or gentle river flowing at a good pace.
When you start to work with your inner energy you will miss the the harshness of life. I did. I think we all get accustomed to the highs and lows of the physical world. It is natural to look for it in the energy world, because that is what we know. We all have to have some sort of structure in our lives, and what we know puts order and structure in what we learn. The energy world works on a different structure. So, we have to start to see it and integrate the new order into our lives. This all happens as fast as you are willing to use that same energy. I remember though, I was always looking in my heart for a big, fast change, but one day I was walking outside and realized that it is not that. It is subtle and warm like the sun, delicate like a breeze and beautiful like the song of a bird. The same energy illicits a wonderful aliveness inside you, a presence that is unmistakably all-loving. This feeling can be all-consuming and is larger-than-life, but for the most part it remains a constant until you need it. Then, it turns its self up or down accordingly. When you get used to this constant companion of energy, it is a feeling of having someone with you, and knowing that they are your best friend, in all sense of the meaning. It is not as harsh as having someone next to you, you can't reach out and touch it. But it is unmistakably there. I remember that day, realizing how much of what I did want, I had missed; looking for it to be something I already knew. If it was supposed to be what I knew, I would not have been looking to fix my curent thought system.
I have to say that my inner energy is a better, more rewarding love, even if it does not have the same feelings that the physical world has. It is at peace, has more to offer, brings me peace, fulfillment, joy and love.

Thursday, April 7, 2011


You are never indebted to another. People are inspired to help you. It is a calling from their inner guide. When the thing they are inspired to help you with is done, they can move on, or help more. If they choose to ignore their guidance, they will have to suffer the consequences. All actions of benevolence are of that same inner guidance. It is what we do with it after that may make it sinister.
Did you ever have someone that said,"All I have done for you, and you don't act grateful?" You can be grateful, and not agree with the bad behavior that they are trying to indebt you with. Gratitude is something you express in the moment. If you have to keep expressing it, you are catering to someone's need to feel great.
One of the things that I learned this summer is that each time I help another it is independent of my own agenda. Sometimes that same energy asks you to help someone you do not like, it is to help you grow. Working with others is a way to emotionally mature, this has to be done with a non-judgmental heart. If you find fault, or have a motive that serves you, it will be a problem of some kind in the end. Your inner energy is pure, and has its own form of protection for you, but you cannot doubt. It is in the very faith that you are following your inner energy that you have the protection.
When people try to indebt you to them they are only using the energy of guilt by trying to manipulate you to do what they want. We are all free and have the right to move on at any time. Now, I must say that like all things this also stems from a true sense of spirit. When you follow your inner energy, it does respond to your need's but it does not do so out of debt. It does this to make life, or itself, whole. We, the people, attribute all thoughts to how we see and think of things, so when we need something, we try to make those around us do them.
Here is an example. I moved this summer and befriended someone, well they pretended to be my friend. This person did not call me unless they wanted something from me. I was helping them and thought they would reciprocate, but did not reciprocate in a friendship that I needed or wanted at the time. This made me so sad in the beginning. You see, I had an agenda, but I also was talking to my inner energy. I started to see that what I was doing was independent of the friendship I needed. So, I began to help for the sake of helping, then I realized that I was helping that universal energy. I was creating a sense of peace in the world by bearing the burden of what needed to be done. It made the work light and a pure joy. It also brought me the peace I need in my life at that time. The situation started to change in my mind. Another inspiration came in, and I no longer had to help. That is when I moved on to this.
You see, your inner energy flows from one thing that is needed to another. You are never tied to your current people, places or things out of guilt. I do recommend to you to talk, and to feel your inner energy. Do this to see if you need to serve the people in your life more deeply. When you serve people you do not like so much you grow to know the inner energy that you are serving. If you are meant to move on you will with no animosity because you are serving the energetic whole, not the person.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011


I will tell you that impatience is going to be a huge stumbling block in your ability to create. Patience is not something any of us have or get instantly. It is cultivated and courted. I know that sounds funny but life, as I have learned, is a dance of letting go of my old ways and learning new. This all happens with out knowing what is going on but when I look back, I can see that is how it has gone. I see that each time I have learned something new, I got impatient that it did not create instant change. When I fell in a pile of ordinary human despair, giving up on my desire to have the change, my inner energy would bring me peace. That's when the change would begin. I have seen this cycle all along but never to the extent that I have understood it last night. I have been working on bringing me the ability to support myself. Now I have heard this before but I was reading again last night from Depak Chopra. He was saying that, the dance of what was and what is to come has to balance. I see that now, the energetic spin of the two hold each other in place. If it were not this way, you would implode with the new knowledge, not knowing how it fits into your life. I agree now, and understand this concept. I used to want a spontaneous awaking, but how would I deal with this with all the responsibility in my life? I know that creation gives you what is needed, and I know that I need to show the world that it can be done. You and I can be ordinary people, and live ordinary lives; working toward a higher emotional intelligence, still obtain it, and have the lives we live.
So life is a dance of what is and what is to come. Patience is the gentle thread that allows it to happen, knowing that the energy within will do all the work.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

Inner Connection

I went to a 'Ten Secrets to Inner Peace' class last night. Not because I felt a need, but I was being a bit of a groupie. I do admire the life coach that teaches the class, it was very general class, though. I think I could boil it down though to three real truths of peace.
     1. You have to want the peace above everything else in the world; no excuses!
     2. Peace or the practice of it, takes work, perseverance and true devotion! and more work! It is a practice in all you do and you have to live it. Peace does not come just because you added some new info to your life. The practice is to feel the peace with in you, at all times.
     3.You do not find peace alone; it is a guided path that you have with your inner power, part of peace is learning, knowing, trusting your inner self. Peace comes from the experience of feeling something bigger and better than you is at work in your life.
Now that being said all the rest can follow. Everything else in the class was about how to build the skills of practicing learning and experiencing peace from within. Remember the truth, that peace is a feeling you have regardless of what happens in your life. She mentioned simplifying life. Decide to let some things go until tomorrow, or make half, a portion a goal not he whole project. Practice giving. Do for others and take your mind off your own small world. This brings peace and helps you be happier to do the work that needs to get done when you come home. Go for a walk and practice breathing exercises. If you can't go out; breath with a picture of nature. Breathing exercises help immensely but you have to use them a lot to create new patterns of peace in your mind.
Connecting with your inner self, I like this one! It is more the reality of  how to get inner peace. The coach went through a body scan and this is part of connecting with your inner self. You can use a body scan to find stress points and release tension; this can give you instant connection to your inner self, when you get the hang of the practice. Once you practice the body scan a few times you can see the repeated places you hold tension this is a fast trigger to releasing tension. Look for the stress points first and your peace will return faster, after you get the hang of this exercise. Taking the time to connect with the inner self is finding peace in all situations. That is the peace. This takes practice, practice in peaceful times so that start to develop new patterns of handling stress before you have a stress meltdown.  Releasing all resistance, old pain and letting go of how we think things should be. All those things are blocks to the path of peace.
I still know from experience that you have to work on feeling your inner self and ask that for guidance.  When you feel and recognize the inner self you know peace. It is this relationship with your inner power that is true inner peace.

Monday, April 4, 2011


I have thought about this for a while. Forgiveness is a way to heal, move on, and know that you want peace more that anything else.  I have been thinking about what to write about forgiveness and my mom gave something to write about last night.
I went to a class last night and left my kids home with my mom. She has to take care of my three year old, but my older ones were here too. They usually come with me. I got home on a spiritual high. It was a class about inner peace. I enjoyed it a lot, but I really went for the teacher. I like her and crave being around like minded people. Anyway, when I got home, my ten year old told me that my mom had spent the night rifling through my personal things. She was looking through my drawers, reading papers I keep in them, and looking through my closet. I am so glad I came home full of inner peace! I am, well used to be, the sort of person that would have hung you out to dry for such a transgression. I had all the usual thoughts. I don't do this to her. What do I say? Then I realized that she is only doing what she knows how to do; be disrespectful. She can not respect herself, so how can she respect me? I would venture to say that she has no concept of respect, because she has not defined herself, or what her values are. What is there to respect when you are not a whole person? She sees herself as a collection of good decisions she has made about money. Others do not live up to that measure, so we do not deserve respect.

I never got mad, I just rode that spiritual high all through the night. I stayed up thinking about all this. I realized that I did not have anything to hide anyway, and that I wanted to have a better relationship with my mom. So I asked her this morning how I could help her, maybe do a little laundry. We had a nice conversation and I came up to write. I see it all as testimony that my inner power has transformed me. I also feel confident that it is all energy that is working to get me out of here. I also trust that the same inner energy is working on its own form of justice. I feel good that I did not allow her behavior to effect me and that I still treated her with love. I am sure that it is not all my doing. I have great power behind all that I do, even forgiving.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Mind Your Own Business

Did your mom tell you to mind your own business when you were a kid? Mine did. But, I am sure she did not know the extent or depth of what our business is. When you start to communicate with your inner self you will find that you still chat and think about others and still try to figure out what they do, or what they are doing, means. The truth is, that it is not something you can change, are supposed to change, or need to know about. I know, now you say, "but they effect me," and they do on some level. You effect them on the same level too. Let me explain this. When you think, yes, just think of someone, you are putting yourself in their body. You may think this is impossible but the truth is that you are energy, and not a body. You do not have the power to control people as in the movies, but you do have the power to control them in a energetic way. You can very well think good or bad about someone and have them feel good or bad in their own head. They may complain that they do not feel well or feel out of sorts. The other person will not know it is you but they will blame something in the outer world that irritates them. Now if you think something good about them they will feel good around you. They will eventually start to feel good and become happy. I know. I do this with the people I live with. People act out the energy around them until they become conscious of energy and that they are energy beings. When you become aware that the world, people, and collective energy itself can effect you, you can choose to mind your own business.
Now what I mean; to mind your own business is that you only pay attention and live through your own energy flows. This takes time, practice, and knowledge of how your energy feels. Energy comes in when you are around someone, or they think of you, and you may just have a thought of them. You may have some insight or intuition about them, but not all information is to be acted upon. Some intuition is for you to understand them, and be able to stay away from them. You may feel that they do not like you or feel their judgment. Do not respond. This information is to protect you! It is allowing you to move away from them with no conflict. People are allowed to have different ideas and they do not have to understand yours. As a matter of fact, you will do more damage by telling them your ideas. Now, if you get the feeling in your throat to talk, you must. This is the energy to speak up. Energy will use you to further itself and a restriction in the throat or feeling of movement to speak is guidance to tell your side. Always follow your feeling, and do it even when you do not feel you have anything to gain. It should be a gut reaction, working with you heart. You can redeem a situation by prayer. This is the knowing that your inner energy will use what you have said for is own use.

The key is, to do this and not think about it again. Leave it to the omnipotence of the universal energy. Minding your own business is knowing that you can only control your self, thoughts, and reactions. The rest of life has to come from the an energy larger than your self.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Beautify The World

I am so happy for the neighbors! They are doing so much outside work and making their and our world nice. I know it is strange to be happy for others' prosperity, but it is mine and yours too. In the world of energy the higher truth is that all is one. So, always be happy for any beauty prosperity brings. It brings up the collective energy of prosperity its self.
As I was growing I saw others unhappy about others' gain, or find some fault in it. Now I understand they just did not, or do not, have the same knowledge that I do about it being good for the world. Still, I see others complaining about the progress and finding problem with the construction. Yet I keep peeking out the window to see how well it all looks. I love the idea that people get what they want and need and when it is over it will look so pretty. I also love the idea that when you take the time and money to invest in something it has energetic love and devotion in it. It glows and shines with your attention.
There are some homes you drive by that have a lackluster air about them. I always think, "wouldn't it be nice if they would just buy one gallon of paint a paycheck?" Invest a little at a time, and over time, their home will have that loved look. Beauty is part of our souls, it is a reflection of the infinite depth of what we are. Beauty is a calling, just look in nature. It is the result of our blossoming in mature growth. You can see the evidence of what I say all around you this Spring. We all feel a true connection to nature. It is because we are truly connected to it. We are it. When I had a home, I used to sit on the couch in the front room, in the quiet of the night, and think of how beautiful it all was I also felt so prosperous. I would sit there and feel the beauty peace and contentment of myself and the world.
So surround your self with the beauty you love, and know you are that beauty. Feel the beauty in yourself and love the vast infinite being you are.

Friday, April 1, 2011

I Know I Am a Problem

Yes, I know I am a problem. I can name many of the things I need in life that I cannot supply for myself right now, and remember when I say me, I include my three kids. So, the list is like this; food, clothes, electricity, water, gas, $250.00 a month for my car, a home and all the things that come up in between there when you have kids. These are all things that we all need in life, but, like many in this world now, I am at the mercy of others to fill those needs. I also know I can give a lot too, I have an eternity of unconditional love to give. That is something you cannot pay for; but I know it is what we all need just as much as the money it takes for all of those other things.

We all need something at some time in our lives. You cannot avoid needing something on some level in a life time. Even if you had a wealth of money for your lifetime, there would be times that you needed help of some kind. "I know," you say, "I will pay for it." But there are some things that money cannot buy. True unconditional love, devotion, time, compassion, and companionship. I know these have a wealth of value and that they are belittled in this world. I also know that even if the people that are supplying my monetary backbone find me a problem they could choose to love me anyway. I know I choose to love them even though they see and feel me as a problem. When they see me this way, they are saying what I give does not count. That's what I am really giving. My essential me is unworthy, because it does not buy something, or produce a physical result. These same people could see what I do and see me as a blessing, knowing that the world needs love at this time in history, but you cannot see two worlds at the same time, when you chose the physical world as your value.
I am well aware that some people in this life see, and express their feelings, that I am a problem. I also know that I am not a problem in the world that counts. I am a true blessing. My needs have the ability to bring out the best in someone or the worst. But either way, I have chosen to be a blessing to all, and to the world of eternal energy.