Friday, May 20, 2011

The Wall

We all have things to change in life. When life backs us into a corner and forces the change we sometimes feel blocked by the pain of it all, feeling as if the problems are insurmountable. These times can feel like a wall of pain. What I realized was that my wall was not the pain I thought it was,  it was what the goal represented. If you are stuck with the worry of the pain, yet feel like you have over come those lessons, look deeper.
I was with like minded people last night and we were all talking and I got some insight into my real fears. What I realized was that I was not worried about not being peaceful, that is what we were talking about. I have peace when I sit, and in the quiet times; it is in the times of everyday activity that I need peace. My greatest fear was not having it, or not being able to sustain it; as is the case. It hit me last night that I was at peace and that I needed to allow it to fill the active times in my life.
I was beginning to see the lack of peace as a wall of impossible proportions, forgetting all together that I am peaceful inside of the pain that has transpired in my life.
Peace is something I have valued for quiet some time and it has slowly taken over the majority of my fears. What I want in the end is to allow it to take over my life so I can be a clear vessel of healing love for those around me. I know that I need it in order to obtain these level of healing and heal my life too.
My experience last night was the opening that allowed me to see around my wall of fear. Now I feel at peace with allowing my life to unfold. If you are stuck, look for the things that your fear represents. It could create a window in your wall too.

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