Tuesday, April 26, 2011


When you follow the guided path you will find love for all, but your family will become those that you grow with. Many of us, as adults, find ourselves out growing our families. Faced with the realization that we are no longer energetically connected to the tribal ways we were brought up with, we wonder the value of family.
I have understood that I have chosen to grow spiritually and I talked to my mom about this regularly. A while ago I thought it was a good idea to move closer to my family, so I could have the physical and emotional support I needed. I had talked to my mom for years about this move. It is coming up on a year now and I have come to the realization that this is not the family that will nurture and love me the way I need to be my best. I know now that my mom just listened to me before, but now will not listen. She does not want to grow, she wants to control. I will tell you that, on this path, you can not control; when you try you will hate yourself for the hypocrisy. I have gone through all the feelings that we all go through with family, abandonment and rejection. In the end I have come around to know this is not about me, it was a lesson in love that I needed. To see my family, life and all that happens through the lens of energy and grace.
The people I call family are not my family anymore, they are strangers that do not wish me the best. They wish me the way they want me, not for the beautiful person I am. I wanted my kids to know and learn about family that loves and grows together. This kind of family overcomes the illusions of the world and chooses to love despite the many things we dislike about one another. A family of love chooses to love over all the judgments that make us disappointed and angry with each other.
I know that we are all to learn through these lessons in life, we are to learn theses things the most through our family. They are the cosmic beings that are here to make us into the beautiful beings of grace we need to evolve into. I also know that there is a time that we learn to love despite the adversity that our family brings. We learn to understand that they are not doing any thing to hurt us, they are trying to navigate this world with the skills they know work for them.
I learned that I will not give or allow my family to take my energy and make me feel less. In this decision I know that they will never embrace me as the person I am. I also know that real family wants to know me as a beautiful being, and I do not belong here anymore. It has become a healing and I have learned to love my mom for her efforts, despite the concept that her efforts do not nurture me or others. She, in her way, loves me and those around her the best she can, so my family has become the place I am meant to visit and not dwell.
I will say that true family is still a place that brings love to our hearts. A place of peace that will heal us and help us see ourselves as whole in times of adversity. A nest of beings that we know we can turn to when we need to know our true joy of being.

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