Thursday, April 28, 2011

Energy Magic

I think it is magical how energy works, when you release the worry about if it works. I am always amazed at how energy rearranges my life. When I am in a situation that requires me to just sit and wait, it always creates some thing that tells me the answers.
We all have had those times when we need change and do not know how it will happen, our brains search for the many ways we can do what we want. Always the change is something that takes time to happen and we are in a hurry to make it happen.
I have for a while wanted to have an equal relationship with a friend yet I know that equality comes after I become whole. Wholeness changes perception to include the whole of the world, as close as you can get to it in this world. I want to be responsible for the things I say and do, and not create more karma, or negative patterns in this life. Essentially Being whole will give me a closer reality of how energy is running and how I am taking it personally on a earthly basis. Every time there is an opportunity to meet, see or interact on a closer level I pray that the energy within will show me the way. Each time something comes up, creating some chaos. I pray that we either have a smooth time or that that same energy give me a sign. Always, and I mean always, this person gets upset in some capacity, about how I act toward him. The majority of the complaints are about me not liking him enough. I just want him to be happy, yet he does not feel happy with me. If he does, it is only as a friend and I have encouraged him to leave it that way for now. We do get along in a friendship way, I enjoy his companionship.
Something about the energy in the 'us' part is not right now and I can not get him to see this reality. Yet he feels it and acts it out every time there is a opportunity to meet. I am not worried about this anymore, I know that the energy within me, and us will work it out. I used to try to tell him that he does not want to be with me, and that was a total failure! Yet I feel it and know that I need the energy in me to make me whole before we can have a relationship that works.
Energy has been magical for me, even though it has taken me time to understand how to use it, what to do with the information and how to talk about it. I still love it and find it totally magical how it works.

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