I will admit that it is the worst choice I ever made. Had I been smarter then about what I teach, I would not have gotten a divorce. Now that I know I could use the energy within me to create a new reality, I would have saved my family, and myself, from the heartache. Some of us need to move on though, we get so far into the energetic force of resentment, that we see no way out. I have to add to this, too. When you feel this energy of resentment toward a partner there is also a collective energy that is part of that. As an explanation, we all have our personal energy and there is a collective energy that also fits into our patterns of feeling. So some of what adds to your feelings, makes them overwhelming, is the whole worlds feelings on the same subject.
Single parenting has had that effect on me, but now that I have extended family around, I don't feel the collective oppression that I once did. What I want to say on this subject is that it has grown me, in making me pay attention to my energy. Well, any parenting or relationship can do this, but it has taught me to be what is needed; not who I think I need to be. Some moments I need to be a friend and others I need to be a lover. Yes, to reach out and touch. Other times I need to just be quiet. Seeing my kids as energetic beings and helping them on their own terms has made me grow in all areas of my life. I am grateful in this respect, wiser to have slowed down and listened to my inner energy. I know it has paid off too. We all have the best relationships I have ever seen in a family.
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