Monday, February 21, 2011

Gentle Motherhood

I have always wanted to be a kind mother. For the most part I think I have mellowed out to be that. What I see is that you really have to be firm sometimes, even if you add a loving touch to that. I grew up in a home with plenty of discipline of all kinds, and what I learned was a heavy dose of retaliation. I also learned I did not want to be that kind of parent, one that disciplines out of anger.

I soon learned that some of the things I said to my kids made no sense from the point of view of someone learning. I once heard my self say,"I do everything for you! And you can't pick up after your self?" Now I know a lot of people say this, my mom did. What message was I trying to convey? Was I trying to plant the seeds of loving co-operation? Was I trying to teach obligation regardless of my children's needs? When I looked at this, I saw that I was planting the seed of obligation. I did not want to do this, it can leave my children open to molesters, abusers, and adult messes. So I decided I needed to explain my intent in understandable terms, planting the seed of family co-operation and unity. I still have to discipline, my kids take advantage of me, but that is part of the peace I also teach. I feel great about my choices. I know I water the seed of love, even in my discipline. I want my kids to grow up in the peace generation, making loving changes all around the world, for the better of this planet.

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