Lasting Relationships

I recently met a beautiful couple that was so in love, even after years of life trauma. It is so rare to see people that have grown together in life; one is always touched by them. I have thought about them so much over the past few weeks. I also have wanted nothing more that to have such a relationship in my life; even though I will not ever have that. I am twice divorced. it got me thinking though, what makes you the kind of person that would not just live together, but thrive together.
   
Faith is the deciding factor. I am not talking about ordinary faith; but the kind that says, 'no matter what transpires; I love you, and you love me'. This life does not have a lot of room for that kind of unwavering faith. You as a person have to have you on the energy of the love above all else in this world. Through years of ups and downs, hurt feelings, death and ordinary disappointments; faith in the love that binds them.
     
You have to have the ability to empower each other at what might seem you own expense. You have to overlook a lot of what others take offence to. But in the end you come out with this perfectly nurtured love. I will tell you these too shine with this love! You can see that it has been what nurtured them through all of life together. They nurturing the love and the love nurturing them back. Amazing how the circle of love, or energy of life, works for us.
     
I know I have seen this love only two times in my life. Once as a child, and I strive to understand it and wanted to learn to live it. I know I am living it and teaching it to my kids; and that I may not have it with a partner, but I know I have it with my kids. I see that my efforts to understand have paid off in that the next generation will be better off for my faith in this love; because of my efforts in building lasting relationships with my kids.

Endings

We all come to endings in our lives. Some of us do not like to end because it is change, we resist this and then the end has to come in a cloud of pain over some tragedy we created because we resisted the change in the first place. I guess if you learn to follow your intuition and see how it directs you to change, change is still a time of uncomfortableness, but you look at the good in it. This knowledge is the comfort you are doing the right thing, and it allows you to look at the possibilities that are open to you in the ending of something.
     
As you know I am moving and have had to tell my mom that I need to go. It is a time of uncomfortableness. I know she does not approve, because she does not think things have changed for me. On one level they haven't. yet if they haven't changed I would not be going. I would still be here frightened and scared for my survival and the needs of my kids. This announcement has helped my mom be kinder to me, strangely enough. but there is now a deeper, energy of resentment.
   
This past year I have rapidly gone through my spiritual evolution. My mom has not approved of me from the time I got here and after I got over the hurt I started to notice that she behaves this way with all people, It was never me she was disappointed of, it is her way of relating. Yet I have to say that has been an emotional, spiritual, guide that I do not belong were I am not supported.
     
I know that in my heart it is the right thing to move on, for everyone that I live with and around. I see that my decision effects all those that touch my lives too, even all those that touch my children's lives. I have also seen how we, all those people have grown too.
 
So my ending is filled with beginnings, and I know that I will never again be the person I was when I came here. I do not mind that one bit, for I have become, in the process the person I had wanted to be all my life. I am grateful for this ending. If I had faced all my endings with the larger view that all is right in the world, my life would had transformed sooner. I am grateful to be here now!

Reality

When you think of something it starts the seed of reality. Talking about it and then having someone else believe in it makes it grow. This is how the world starts and finishes anything. If you talk about it and then it fades away, others, and your self have 'turned the other cheek,' as they say, and it dies. The reality of it fades. 

   
My daughter texted me in the night last night, she was in a panic and angry that some of her old friends were bulling her. When this happens, and any other thing that is in just, remember were you are. People do theses kinds of things to get attention and if you are feeling like it is true, but it was in just they others talk about you; it becomes real. You are the second person that makes what was said a reality, or you can drop it and it dies. These girls said she was a charity case, and this may have weighed on my daughter because of our recent hardship. Yet the reality is that she is not from a poor family, we have experienced a poor life this year, but over all we have had a great life. All parents say no to there kids, I have said yes a lot more that some parents; with a lot less to give. She has not and is not a child of a poor family. This is a reality that she can easily over look and know that she is a strong person inside and does have a great group of friends beyond these other girls. I reminded her of this. She is with her friends and is safely away from theses other girls and there reality; she saw the truth in this and moved on. That reality then died the death it deserved.

     
There is also another reality here, these girls were shunned on a level and did not like my daughter moving on. She had unfriended them on Face book. I will say that there are people in this world that test the reality of our decisions, or our dedication to them. When you energetically move on there will be others that challenge that. Others do not like it when we move on, moving on is a threat to there ego. They will energetically find ways to undermined our decisions, this is were our persecution and resolve set in. We have a choice at this point to follow our inner self direction or believe in the reality that others create for us. Energy itself does not care what you choose, if you are strong in your inner energy you will believe in your own direction and then live in the happiness of that. If you are not sure of that inner relationship you will create, again with the people that are persecuting you. You will go back to there reality and have to learn the lesson until you can disconnect from that reality setting.

   
All these energy patterns are here to help you develop your inner self. They are nothing but patterns, that the other people are acting out. The patterns test us and teach us to grow spiritually. Sitting with you inner self and felling that relationship will grow the patience you need to see these patterns and learn from them, instead of being offended by them. So create your reality with your inner self and know with all your heart that as it develops in this world others will see it and know it as truth. Leave the others behind, they are here to test your relationship with reality. What you think is your only reality.

Enjoy

I admit I grew up being told to work first and enjoy later. This has been my motto and work ethic all my life. In my younger days it worked. I had time to enjoy at the end of the day. Now that I am older there is always something else to do and I have children that have an endless supply of requests that stream through there mouths. I do for them because on a cosmic level we are all here to serve one another. At the end of the day I see I did not enjoy. I zoned out, trying to get to the enjoy part.
     
It has recently come to my attention, through revelation, that I am missing all the "enjoy" parts of life. I came to see that the enjoy is in the thoughts we have as we do all the rest of life. I clean a lot of poop, laundry, dishes and dinner, all with little or no help, with requests for my attention all the while. I started to realize it was the gratitude in all this mess. I was missing, and that came to me a few days ago.
     
I started to see the true miracle, or preciousness of it all. That these people, places and situations would not be in my life if it weren't for the grace or miracle that holds them there. Think of it! All the energy that is expended in connecting and correlating all of life! That energy has to hold together tiny cells and help us breath, digest, move, walk, talk and help the flowers grow, the sun to come up, the rain and it does all this for all the world. What a true feet of organizing power and cooperation.
     
I started to understand that I will not be able to enjoy life that same way ever again, yet I can enjoy it on a whole other level. I can see the miracle in it all and understand that the live around me is a true blessing. It is held in place for the true joy in life and it is a true joy to see it now. I will enjoy life more now that ever because I do not have to wait for the end to appreciate it.

Hurt people; Hurt People

This rings in my mind as a truth. When someone is lashing out it is hard to remember they are lashing out from a point of pain. Their anger covers their vulnerability, yet if you dig deep enough, and asked why long enough, you would uncover that someplace in time they are stuck in a pain pattern and are overcompensating for the pain they have experienced.
 
We all live in these pain patterns, and do not even see them as the lens that we view the world through. They have the ability to twist our perceptions and bring down our families and friends. Yet all they are is phantom memories. They are an emotional trace that we could not process at the time of the experience and over the years these memories have gained interest at the rate of destroying our interpersonal lives. If we could see how we punish others for our perceived injustices; based on our past experience, we would implode with pain.
 
We can all recover from this pain, once we get a glance at the concept that we are pushing our own neurotic pain on others. This awakening is the opening that inner energy needs to correct your pain and refine the best in you. It can be over come just with the knowledge that you do not want to hurt others anymore. You do not have to spend years in therapy digging up the countless pain spots that added to and trigger the pain episodes that make you lash out.
     
After the hurt subsides, from an argument, see the pain in others. Have compassion for the worries and fears that rule there lives. We do not have to allow others to continue to hurt us, yet we can have compassion and distance ourselves from there pain. Some people live in a constant low grade pain they can not even recognize and they even think this is happiness, in some cases. I know people that live with this kind of pain and pass it on to generation after generation, they have lived like this and think it is happy, or the best they can get; I am not sure which.
     
I do not recommend you point this out to anyone, just keep it in your heart of knowledge  and live a better life for it. Knowing that others will hurt you based on there fears and worries takes out the pain of the wound they are trying to inflict. So, next time you are lashed out at; remember hurt people, hurt people.

Love/Trap 2 and Ramblings

I need to add another layer to this blog, if you are following your inner guide, it is a guarantee that you will succeed. What I am trying to say is that, all of your life's endeavors are an energy pattern. This means that the pattern ends with the completed form of your inspiration.
         
The truth is that when we live from the place of peace that we are intimately connected with the energy within us, we know we have the power of the universe behind us. The worry of the physical world is what makes the things we want, or need take so long to materialize. It is the thought of all the worries that block or weigh down the energy that makes energy stop or slow down. This place of peace, that we feel has to be felt more that 80% of the time we are awake. This is the tipping point of energy, 80%. So thinking of all the things that can go wrong, or re-planning how you are going to do it, or wondering if you are right; are blocking the reality that you want to happen in your life.
       
The place of peace is felt, it is in the times we sit still and feel the energy within us that is the clear power that is working in us to transform the world. You do not have to sit for this to work, start thinking it is working in your life even when you are cooking, acting with kids, family and friends; feel it at times you are active, it will respond. When we have our own agendas, that is what we feel is the best for us, and maybe not the best for the universe, we can do the change but it may take longer. It is in letting go of how we think things should go that is the speed needed for quantum leaps of energy.
     
I have to say from experience that that place of peace comes with a not caring, and I do not mean, not caring about life; but a not caring about others opinions. You start to see that others opinions are based on their perceptions, and not reality; reality being the clear feeling of peace. This peace leaves you with the understanding that others can not see you as you are, they can only see you through the lens of how they think. Others will not see you with the beauty that is radiated from you, at times some will feel it and respond, but those close to you will miss it. They are busy seeing the problems of the past and how they see the moment, through a cloud of old thoughts. There is no longer a need to correct them for their misperceptions, the feelings within you will work out the details that are needed to maneuver you into the place you need to be free of those perceptions. You live from the knowledge that their perceptions can not hurt or effect you any longer.
     
Your inner guide will bring you the peace that you need to transform your world. It is the reason we are here and the power to create we all seek. It has always been here and will always be, and all we have to do is relax and feel it working. Remove yourself from your ordinary fears.

Emotional Assignation

Your thoughts have power, so every thought you think goes to a target. If you think negatively about others, judge them, find them wrong, you are emotionally assigning them. We have all done this in some form, to find something we do not like about others behavior and think or talk about it with another. This is a form of abuse that goes un-talked about. Many of us do not want to live up to this kind of integrity. We have a million excuses like "what will we talk about?", for instance.  The truth is that as we mature emotionally, we do have things to talk about, they are different things, like ourselves and ideas that we want to explore. Life becomes full of good things and better things to talk about. I have found that it is of no use to talk about the things I do not like, the power that is needed to do so is needed elsewhere. I like peace and what it brings with it, and you can't have peace if you are always thinking and discussing all that is wrong in your life.
       
I will be the first to admit that it has been a long road in learning this lesson. When you follow the guided way, you will notice patterns. This one is at the end of the pattern for me. The end always brings a little "hair of the dog", or a little of my own medicine. Gratefully, when I am about to learn something in the highest order, I have to experience it on the other end, the one I have been dishing out for years. It is not the easiest pill to swallow, but I know it is what I need to never do it again. Peace of following your inner energy allows you to see that others are "OK" if they do not do things the way you think is best. You start to see all of others' lives as the best they can do. If this is effecting your life, you know it is time to move on and let them have their views until they are in enough pain to change it.
       
In this way of pattern learning, we all come full circle to understanding that life is whole. That we did what we did out of energy, and now the energy is purified by the pain of the path. I have understood different levels of emotional assignation for a while, but it always has to run the course of knowledge to the knowing.

Inspired Thought

When you have a thought that is inspired, it will repeat on different occasions. This is a clue that you should follow the guidance that you have received. These thoughts will repeat in your head and make you feel good. They are also ideas just outside of your ability. Always your inner energy is pushing you forward, wanting you to learn and stretch out of your current thought. How fast you follow this guidance will determine how fast you change your life.
       
Be determined in thinking only of the step at hand. Your single-mindedness will keep the guidance in focus and protect you from faltering. Each step you follow will bring you closer to the life you will feel complete with. Sometimes the guidance does not fit in with what we think we want, if we follow it, we end up with better lives than we could have believed in.
     
I have been struggling with this myself. I have one friend that has helped me keep what I thought of as my life intact. Yet the reality is that I pray every night that my life will change, and I want it to change in a way that no one I know; knows much about. My inner guidance has been to let go of some of the involvement in this relationship; but for selfish reasons I never felt I could survive. I recently realized that I needed to spend more time with my inner energy; OK, I knew, I was avoiding the guidance. Now that I have followed it, spent just three nights just quiet, I feel more at peace.
     
My level of peace has increased because I brought my level of continuity up higher. Before I was thinking of my inner energy and then of I had a pain of loneliness I would call, fill my time with physical world things. Now I have found a deep peace in my seamless connection to my inner energy. I find myself eating less and thinking more about my inspiration, leaving the rest. There is always a thought that will let in a fear, show you a worry. Now I refuse to listen to those ordinary thoughts. They got me into this mess in the first place.
     
Thoughts of inspiration are easer to think about also. They release me from pain of life and create a new world that I know I will be doing more in service to the world. After all one of my inspired thoughts was to do this blog, and that has brought healing and peace to my life that I never had before.

Cooperation

When you cooperate with your inner energy it cooperates with you. I was at the store today and witnessed a mom, so frustrated that her kids kept asking for more. I know that feeling, I have been thinking of this for a few weeks and it has gone from me feeling as if my kids do not cooperate, to the world not cooperating. I started to see that it is not all these people and things, but me. My kids are not supposed to cooperate, they are kids. The world is not supposed to do it either, but it will; when I cooperate with it.
 
We are not entitled to anything, but when we follow the energetic rules, we get back what we put in. It is like following the rule of gravity. We do not think of the rule, we just follow it and nothing falls on our head or toes. So if we follow the energy rule that what we think about is what we get; it works.
 
What I realized was that I was thinking that things were not working out the way I wanted, so they weren't. I came to understand it was the last of my old thinking that I just did not believe in how this energy thing works. What I know now is that I was just looking for it to work in one area, it sure has worked in a lot of my life. I have countless things to say have improved and have countless things to be grateful for. I have sat with my inner energy and come to see that I had a residual feeling of disbelief. It resonated in me like a nervous cat. I let it go with the help of my inner self and now have a peace deeper than I knew could exist. All of a sudden I feel like the world is cooperating with me. As if it wants to cooperate, and all of my interactions have gotten better, smoother.
   
I guess I have to say to cooperate with the energy of the world you have to feel it cooperating with you. Even when you think it is not helping, working things out; you have to feel it cooperating. The energy works out all things when the time is right for all the people involved, but it is still cooperating. I know this because I feel it now.

Repeats

When you repeat behavior it is an opening to look at how you feel. Many times we think situations in our lives are different, but if you look close you will see that they are related. If you have your feelings hurt repeatedly, think about why. Ask yourself how you need to feel and what you really want the other person to be like. Ask many "why" questions. Keep asking why, until you have an answer that is deep in your soul. Use this information to understand reality of expectations.
     
I have an acquaintance that feels left out a lot. When others have an activity planed, if she finds out, she will say they left her out. She also projects this on her kids, saying others have left out her kids. I have another that repeatedly feels unloved. This person needs to hear "I love you" many times a day, and judges the barometer of the relationship on it. A whole world is built around how many or little "I love you's", they get in a given period of time. This same person needs to hear that I want to see them, verbally. It is not enough to feel safe with how well we get along. If "I cant wait to see you", or "I can't wait to hold you", is not muttered, he thinks I do not like him enough. The real energy is that of insecurity, and it is a demanding energy. I have broached the subject, knowing full well that I have no control over admitting the issue. These fears stick deep in our psyches. We disguise our fearful  behaviors in good motives, projecting on to another's our own lack of respect.
 
When I would find myself in these situations of pain, I would sit and think how I may have added to the situations. Many times we, ourselves, can not see the situations clearly because of the cloud of pain we emit. When you sit and ask the inner energy to help, the true reasons are revealed. Somehow that energy  helps us understand our true fears, and our fears reveal our true motives.
 
True motives, our minds cannot handle, they are so painful that we have to hide them from ourselves. But, true motives cause repeats in pain we experience. The way out of the repeated pain is through the inner energy.

Reality is Subtle

Reality of inner energy is very subtle. It can build a momentum of power in no time. I guess what I am trying to say is that it is not the highs and lows of coffee, spicy foods, and sex. Energy is more like a flowing breeze or gentle river flowing at a good pace.
 
When you start to work with your inner energy you will miss the the harshness of life. I did. I think we all get accustomed to the highs and lows of the physical world. It is natural to look for it in the energy world, because that is what we know. We all have to have some sort of structure in our lives, and what we know puts order and structure in what we learn. The energy world works on a different structure. So, we have to start to see it and integrate the new order into our lives. This all happens as fast as you are willing to use that same energy. I remember though, I was always looking in my heart for a big, fast change, but one day I was walking outside and realized that it is not that. It is subtle and warm like the sun, delicate like a breeze and beautiful like the song of a bird. The same energy illicits a wonderful aliveness inside you, a presence that is unmistakably all-loving. This feeling can be all-consuming and is larger-than-life, but for the most part it remains a constant until you need it. Then, it turns its self up or down accordingly. When you get used to this constant companion of energy, it is a feeling of having someone with you, and knowing that they are your best friend, in all sense of the meaning. It is not as harsh as having someone next to you, you can't reach out and touch it. But it is unmistakably there. I remember that day, realizing how much of what I did want, I had missed; looking for it to be something I already knew. If it was supposed to be what I knew, I would not have been looking to fix my curent thought system.
 
I have to say that my inner energy is a better, more rewarding love, even if it does not have the same feelings that the physical world has. It is at peace, has more to offer, brings me peace, fulfillment, joy and love.

Forgive

I have thought about this for a while. Forgiveness is a way to heal, move on, and know that you want peace more that anything else.  I have been thinking about what to write about forgiveness and my mom gave something to write about last night.
 
I went to a class last night and left my kids home with my mom. She has to take care of my three year old, but my older ones were here too. They usually come with me. I got home on a spiritual high. It was a class about inner peace. I enjoyed it a lot, but I really went for the teacher. I like her and crave being around like minded people. Anyway, when I got home, my ten year old told me that my mom had spent the night rifling through my personal things. She was looking through my drawers, reading papers I keep in them, and looking through my closet. I am so glad I came home full of inner peace! I am, well used to be, the sort of person that would have hung you out to dry for such a transgression. I had all the usual thoughts. I don't do this to her. What do I say? Then I realized that she is only doing what she knows how to do; be disrespectful. She can not respect herself, so how can she respect me? I would venture to say that she has no concept of respect, because she has not defined herself, or what her values are. What is there to respect when you are not a whole person? She sees herself as a collection of good decisions she has made about money. Others do not live up to that measure, so we do not deserve respect.

I never got mad, I just rode that spiritual high all through the night. I stayed up thinking about all this. I realized that I did not have anything to hide anyway, and that I wanted to have a better relationship with my mom. So I asked her this morning how I could help her, maybe do a little laundry. We had a nice conversation and I came up to write. I see it all as testimony that my inner power has transformed me. I also feel confident that it is all energy that is working to get me out of here. I also trust that the same inner energy is working on its own form of justice. I feel good that I did not allow her behavior to effect me and that I still treated her with love. I am sure that it is not all my doing. I have great power behind all that I do, even forgiving.

Mind Your Own Business

Did your mom tell you to mind your own business when you were a kid? Mine did. But, I am sure she did not know the extent or depth of what our business is. When you start to communicate with your inner self you will find that you still chat and think about others and still try to figure out what they do, or what they are doing, means. The truth is, that it is not something you can change, are supposed to change, or need to know about. I know, now you say, "but they effect me," and they do on some level. You effect them on the same level too. Let me explain this. When you think, yes, just think of someone, you are putting yourself in their body. You may think this is impossible but the truth is that you are energy, and not a body. You do not have the power to control people as in the movies, but you do have the power to control them in a energetic way. You can very well think good or bad about someone and have them feel good or bad in their own head. They may complain that they do not feel well or feel out of sorts. The other person will not know it is you but they will blame something in the outer world that irritates them. Now if you think something good about them they will feel good around you. They will eventually start to feel good and become happy. I know. I do this with the people I live with. People act out the energy around them until they become conscious of energy and that they are energy beings. When you become aware that the world, people, and collective energy itself can effect you, you can choose to mind your own business.
 
Now what I mean; to mind your own business is that you only pay attention and live through your own energy flows. This takes time, practice, and knowledge of how your energy feels. Energy comes in when you are around someone, or they think of you, and you may just have a thought of them. You may have some insight or intuition about them, but not all information is to be acted upon. Some intuition is for you to understand them, and be able to stay away from them. You may feel that they do not like you or feel their judgment. Do not respond. This information is to protect you! It is allowing you to move away from them with no conflict. People are allowed to have different ideas and they do not have to understand yours. As a matter of fact, you will do more damage by telling them your ideas. Now, if you get the feeling in your throat to talk, you must. This is the energy to speak up. Energy will use you to further itself and a restriction in the throat or feeling of movement to speak is guidance to tell your side. Always follow your feeling, and do it even when you do not feel you have anything to gain. It should be a gut reaction, working with you heart. You can redeem a situation by prayer. This is the knowing that your inner energy will use what you have said for is own use.

The key is, to do this and not think about it again. Leave it to the omnipotence of the universal energy. Minding your own business is knowing that you can only control your self, thoughts, and reactions. The rest of life has to come from the an energy larger than your self.

I Know I Am a Problem

Yes, I know I am a problem. I can name many of the things I need in life that I cannot supply for myself right now, and remember when I say me, I include my three kids. So, the list is like this; food, clothes, electricity, water, gas, $250.00 a month for my car, a home and all the things that come up in between there when you have kids. These are all things that we all need in life, but, like many in this world now, I am at the mercy of others to fill those needs. I also know I can give a lot too, I have an eternity of unconditional love to give. That is something you cannot pay for; but I know it is what we all need just as much as the money it takes for all of those other things.

We all need something at some time in our lives. You cannot avoid needing something on some level in a life time. Even if you had a wealth of money for your lifetime, there would be times that you needed help of some kind. "I know," you say, "I will pay for it." But there are some things that money cannot buy. True unconditional love, devotion, time, compassion, and companionship. I know these have a wealth of value and that they are belittled in this world. I also know that even if the people that are supplying my monetary backbone find me a problem they could choose to love me anyway. I know I choose to love them even though they see and feel me as a problem. When they see me this way, they are saying what I give does not count. That's what I am really giving. My essential me is unworthy, because it does not buy something, or produce a physical result. These same people could see what I do and see me as a blessing, knowing that the world needs love at this time in history, but you cannot see two worlds at the same time, when you chose the physical world as your value.
 
I am well aware that some people in this life see, and express their feelings, that I am a problem. I also know that I am not a problem in the world that counts. I am a true blessing. My needs have the ability to bring out the best in someone or the worst. But either way, I have chosen to be a blessing to all, and to the world of eternal energy.

Thank You

I have to say thank you to my inner guide. I have come so far, and am so grateful for all the help and love bestowed upon me.
   
I am currently living with family and we are not of like mind. I also have a special needs child that is very hard to take most days. This morning she got up, and was crying. The person downstairs could hear her. He made a huff, said "Jesus Christ !", and left. Well, I know it is hard for all of us. I was very disappointed to realize that she was, or could very well be, a problem for the rest of her life. Either way, I had to accept it and learn to care for her with love. Acceptance is not easy to understand. It is the decision to deal with the issue as it is, not keep looking for it to change. Now this is hard to think of because many of us need change to make life bearable. Change will come. Life is forever changing. You have to accept what is to allow the new to move in. The acceptance is the lack of resistance. When you resist, the stress of the problem fills the energetic place of what is trying to come in and replace the problem issue.
 
Now, what I understood today was that your resistance is a form of that energy too. The resistance is a feeling of need for change. It forces you to look in to your inner energy for help. I can not control that I live here or that my child is hard to live with, but I can control my reactions. That is power in a huge way! I have been dealing with the resistance of us living here since we moved in. I have gone through phases of pain over it and today, I thought about it, and realized that it was my inner energy that was creating the pain to propel me into a new location. I felt undying gratitude! You see we are energy and that energy repels and attracts. So, what ruffles my energy system will send me away. Likewise, what makes me calm is what the energy gives me more of, it attracts. I walk every day, two to three times, to a house I want to live in. I always take the time to pray there and know that somehow my energy is working on me getting there. We need a home so badly. It is the worst thing in the world to live in a home were you are not welcome. You never really feel safe and you never really feel like you can be.
 
Having a place to be the essential you is so important to being the best Being you can be. I know that it is all being worked out and that maybe I needed to live through this to appreciate, teach and love what I will have when it is all over. I sureonow I have a true sense of understanding that I never had, a sense of peace, and love for those that are unconsciously fallowing the energy of life. So thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Empty Apologies

Did you ever tell someone that you were sorry for hurting their feelings and know that it would not matter in the end? I went to talk to a lady today that told me that I was the only parent who told her that she was doing something wrong, and that it hurt her feelings. This, apparently, hurt her feelings for days, she was so upset. Well, I said that I was sorry and, indeed, I genuinely felt sorry. But, I knew that it was hollow. You see, when you apologize for hurting someone, you are apologizing to their ego. The ego is a hollow entity. So, when you use your emotions to make people behave, or do what you think is right, you are left feeling empty. I was apologizing to a feeling, not even to her, as the beautiful being that I know that she is, not even this emotion. I know in my heart that she just feels fresh now in her anger. She is mulling over and over, thinking of how right she is. I know that she does not feel better about the apology because her soul is not healed from it. Her soul itself is not wounded by the exchange, it needed no apologies. So she will still feel empty.

Your inner self is stronger that the world's feelings and perceptions. It does not get hurt feelings. It is not hurt by anything that happens and that is the essential you. Your inner guide will use emotions to communicate to you and help you know when to change or do something differently. Inner selves do not think of the feelings the same way that we do either. If you feel hurt by something that someone said, it could be a clue to see how you may be taking things personally, or that you are letting old memories cloud how you are dealing in this moment. All of your emotions are there to help you grow. They are guides to look inside for inner guidance and growth. We, the people, think our emotions are for eradicating, so we can have a stable and secure life. Change is hard for the ego. It likes complete control so it does not have to change. It likes the outside power of its childish ways. When you learn that you are bigger, deeper, and far stronger with out the egoist emotions, you are not happy with them anymore . I do have to say that it is also an inner guide thing to want stability of the emotions. Your body and emotional system are not designed to have much fluctuation in emotion. This is also a call to your inner guide to mature you into learning that you are untouched by others' actions. Their actions do not effect the essential inner you. We all know in our core that we are deeper, stronger, and powerful.

People that have not learned to feel themselves as there inner selves, or to control there minds, will not feel satisfied by the exchanges they have. They are talking through, and perceiving themselves, as  hollow entities, lacking the power of spirit.  All of life will be empty, and feel emotionally unstable. So, do not settle for empty apologies, become whole. Follow your inner guide. Just be.

You Are Not Our Feelings

I have stood up to someone in my life and now she needs me to listen to her side of the story. As all people do when they feel they are right, they want an audience to listen to them and then be able to jam their perceptions down their throats. I have to say that this lady is a blessing to the world, she tries to do the best and has good intentions. But she is still in the beginner stages of learning. When you first start to learn and practice, or not, following you inner guide, you become a judgmental, which is a fundamental problem for others. You are convinced you are right and that you are doing the world a service, and you are. Yet, on another level of reality, you are still trying to mix what you used to know with what you are learning. You can not mix. You have to choose. The guide will teach you that your feelings and emotions are not who you are, but the old you will still want to be defined by the feelings. If you are defined buy the feelings, you have justification to be mad at others for hurting your feelings. This allows you to control them. You will always hurt others in this stage. You want attention and control. It is the outside world of control that you are familiar with, and what you are trying to learn is the inside control. But you will always resort to what you are familiar with, until you practice what you are not familiar with enough to make it a habit. When you start to learn inside control, you don't have the need to control others as much. Eventually, your guide will teach you that what you truly want is inside control, and not to control others on the outside. You will want to have inside control only because you realize that is is the only true power.

Now this lady requested I come over and talk to her. She told me that she was upset for days about being told she was harassing others. Well, she was. But to her, she was doing a service in the community, ridding the world of people that are not nice to her and her kids. Now this is her perception, but not the reality of the situation. I know she is right, in her mind, but, I am right too. I am very clear about this. You can not keep calling people to tell them they are mean, seven times in fifteen minutes. This is harassment by definition. It is the law. I am not mad. I know she did what she thought was right, but I will not have this behavior in my home. So, I feel fine about removing the issue from my home and thoughts. I do not think about her much. I control my mind and have moved on. When I do pass by her home and think of her, I bless her, and family. I do hope that in some way she learns that she is not her feelings. She is far stronger and deeper person than that.

Emotional Intelligence teaches that you are your inner guide, and that your emotions are a guide to learn from your inner self. They are not who you are, or a reason to be angry at others.

Rules and Regulations

We, the people, are stuck on the rules. We are afraid to do what is right for fear of getting into trouble. We seem to have lost sight of the fact that we don't all fit into a mold of humanity What makes us different is what brings new and wonderful solutions into the world. The true problem is that by being forced to follow the rules and regulations we leave out the possibility of following our guidance, and our guidance is what is going to make us successful people. Call it guidance, a hunch, or intuition, it is what keeps us safe and brings us solutions. Some of us know that the value in following this guidance and that our society, by and large, does not allow it.

Now, I have to say, there is a widening division of people in the world at this time. The ones that do believe and those that live in the "rules" world. They make the rules and they are based on someone else's misbehavior, or repeated behavior. The rule makers are tired of dealing with the misbehaved people. They are people that do not follow their guidance either. What I am saying is that when they finally decide to make the rules, it is because they are so tired of the problem. They forget that there is a being under all this and that at some point, another being is not going to be able to conform and stay true to their inner self.
  
This may be abstract, so let me give you an example. Now my kids are in school and they are getting more and more rules and regulations and they refuse to bend them in any way. Even if you are going to comply, they will not help you. I have a daughter that is 10 years old, in fourth grade. She came home in tears because they put a no talking ban in her school. Now I am intelligent enough to understand that they are trying to cut down on the bullying, which is a national epidemic. But, this leaves out childhood friendships and socialization.  It is a natural instinct to help others and talking is part of this good behavior, and now they can't talk in school. The teachers have gone as far as threatening the kids with the police and telling them they will be expelled. It is spiritual guidance to talk and communicate with the world around you and this hampers the development of the whole person.

The time is here of persecution for following you inner self, and more and more are going to be feeling the push to not conform because of their inner guidance demanding that we see each other as beings. We are not a collective that needs conformity to rules and regulations. We are spiritual energy.

The Birds Sing to Me

Yes in the ultimate reality of emotional intelligence, the birds sing to us all, the graces of life itself.
I remember one morning about half way through my first marriage being woke by birds singing. My husband, out of the quiet of the morning said, "They sing for you." It was a corny little love thing to say at the time, but I have always held it dear to my heart. Many of times through these years I have thought of him saying this to me, not feeling like there was any reality to it. But, we all know in our hearts and souls, that they do, in fact, sing for us. It is the spiritual truth that all is one. We say this, know it to be true, but living it makes us live to a higher standard. We avoid living here, it is too much work on those days we want some extra attention because we feel slighted.

In the end we know deep within ourselves that we are part of the whole world. I woke this morning to a beautiful song in my head, and went out to walk the dog. There I found the birds singing to me. I remember the days that I used to awaken angry, groggy and sad. But, I have slowly seen an improvement in my happiness level. The "energy that is one" is always working to better your life, and as I have seen, it has worked in mine. I take no credit for the change in my mind, I know I could have not have done it on my own. All I did was be persistent in asking that inner energy for its help in healing. I read, listen to and watch all those that have been on this path before me. I have heard Echart Tolle, Emily Dickinson, Shakespeare, and many others say the same thing. The whole of the world sings for us to heal. It is a beautiful knowing that there is so much power within us, kind of like a private cheering squad.
  
Just think of those that can not move, maybe even those who are imprisoned. They can see the world this way and find peace and happiness in the power that is in them. I know that I have no excuse for not seeing the world this way all my life, other than I did not know it existed. I have lived an average life, nothing as bad as some have. But, I found my way here. I encourage you to find your way down this path too, because living with the birds makes life worth living.

Worthiness

We all need affirmations. But, did you know when you don't say them to others, that has its own energy pattern too? I am not telling you that you need to go around telling everyone that they are great, and that they do great work in this world, every time you talk. I am saying that you know people that are working hard and you decide you don't like all that they do. Or, that you don't feel like being nice at that moment, but you have the feeling you should say something nice. Those are the times your energy is sending the message that you don't think they are worthy.

I have lived the majority of my life with people that did not like what I had to say. They just did not want to be better people at the times I wanted them to be better. I still live with people that do not want to talk to me because they just do not want to hear that there is an entire reality other than their own. We say short nice things in passing, nothing in depth. I crave talking in depth. It touches my soul and no other conversation is more satisfying than one that has touched my inner being. Needless to say, they want to cut out my authentic self. That is the energy they convey unknowingly. Silence is not always a call for peace, although it can be used that way. It can also hold its own energy when you use it with emotional immaturity. You can use silence in the opposite manner also. It can be a call for peace. You have to be conscious of what your energy is conveying and do it with purpose. If you are using silence for peace you will have to occasionally say nice things to show that you value what the other person is doing. The consciousness itself will have the power to transform the energy to convey what needs to be said.

What I am talking about is the things you know you should say but don't. We all have gotten the feeling that we should say something nice and not said it, ignoring our inner energy. Those are the times that you are using energy to think "I don't want to," and that sends the other person the message they are not worthy of your respect and honor.

On an energy level though, the energy itself is talking to you in its own language. It is teaching you that you are worthy. The energy will show you that what others say is not a reflection of yourself.  They just may be too immature emotionally to be able to say nice things. This is so hard to see when you are not feeling strong and taking it all personally. The energy that you are worthy comes out when you stop and think, "I do do great work." Energy itself is trying to get you to a point that you feel worthy, so you can then follow its guidance. Following guidance is hard to do because, most of the time, you can rationalize your way out of it.

Feeling worthy is a feeling of confidence in your inner self. When you follow it, peace will prevail.