Loved or Trapped?

The way we talk will tell the truth about how we love. Our minds are tricksters, they like to make us think we do things for great reasons; but our language gives away our true motives. I will tell you that when you do realize the reality of the thoughts you think, your motives become pure. Energy runs through you, bringing life to all you do, and you. Yet we as humans have the free will to do what we want with that energy.
       
We all start out on a low level of understanding about love, we are taught this kids, to love our family. This small way is a physical way the tribe, or family keeps us under wraps. They teach us to love back even if love hurts, this is the physical way of keeping the tribe alive. Now understand this is energy, and we act it out with out even knowing about it. Anyway, energy comes into us and we say we are doing things out of love, yet we are really trying to get others to think we are the best, and change them so they will conform to what we want.
       
Now the truth can be found in what we say, or what we get upset about. I also want to say again that what we do is pure; but if you do not understand it, it is not pure love. This is the definition of consciousness. OR maybe you have added the weight of the physical world and made it a trap.
         
Here is the example, I have a friend, ok, ex-husband that has always wanted me to come back to him. We have remained friends and he helps me out a lot, both monetarily and companionship wise. Now, he has chosen, for four years to work on his own, not get a steady job. He has gone through four different company startups and dissolutions. All this was his choice to make a company and make it rich, so he could provide for us as a family. Now, along the way he has not been a steady provider and we have been in poverty all along. Now I left him for other reasons too, and money is only one of them. Well his choice to say that he was going to provide and then not do so. I can respect a person that knows there limits and says they can't provide, that is honest, honesty is respectable. Holding someone captive until you get it together is not admirable. Back to the subject, Language, he continues to be upset with me when I am not happy with him, or am not happy to see him. His argument is, "I have never worked so hard, why can't you be happy".  I have been trying to explain that we need a break, I see the energy as he wants to fill the energy place that provides the money for me as a family. I also know that if he is honest and says that he cant provide The energy will flow from some other place, energy flows were there is a need. If I do not rely on him to fill the need, energy itself has to find another out let. I also knowthat the time apart will heal us as individuals

Intuition as Guide

When I started this path, I wanted to know my intuition. Mostly I wanted to understand how it communicates with me, what I found out was that it was talking to me all the time, I was ignoring it. Inner energy is subtle and is drowned out by any fears. It is something you can not understand if you do not practice listening and following it.
           
In the beginning I was full of thoughts of how I was going to maneuver in this world, and the thoughts that others had put into my head about not being good, or that I would be poor if I took this path. All those fears and insecurities spoke louder than the reality that inner energy can overcome. Yet we all have these thoughts and worries, but they have to be brought to your attention before you can see them and learn differently.
         
Once we disconnect from the myths we learned to believe in, we have to deal with the myths that we create that we are entitled to a good life, or love in return. We are supposed to get them, but we are supposed to earn them also. From an energy level, we earn them and if we do not get them we can not be mad. It is either that we are putting our energy in the wrong place or we are not being patient. Either way we are not focused on giving. Giving is the key to endless return, on an energy level. The full measure of inner connection is to have the feeling of inner connect at all times. We are then open to feeling intuition all the time. All this happens at it own pace, and as soon as you are willing to follow.
         
There are many ways we can become intuitive and they are dependent on your personal skills. Each of us has unique abilities that connect us with our inner self, and theses are the ways through witch we can best help the world. We learn about our abilities through intuition itself. That is what makes us happy in an eternal way is what we have to give, like I love to help others. I brings me endless joy to know I am serving someone else. I feel this way in all circumstances, whether it be money, time or just a kind thought. Theses are energy levels in their own way, from lower energy of money to time witch is a middle energy, to thought a higher energy. When you cover all the levels it is an eternal gift, knowing that energy runs through you. This is the gift of connection to inner guide, and the true measure you are reading your intuition.
         
Intuition is a feeling that runs in our gut, or nervous system, so you have to practice sitting and feeling it so when you need it you can feel your way out of life's hard times. We are used to relying on our five senses, we get taught that in kindergarten. But to be your true self and be the most fulfilled you have to learn to be guided by your intuition.

You Are Right

I have come to understand that others are always right. Even if I am right for me I know that others are right for them, and that leaves me wrong, in there eyes. There is grace in this is knowledge; that I am strong and defined by my choices not defined buy others perceptions. I have thought that I was defined by the way others saw me. Then I realized that they are never going to see the real me; they are looking at me through the lens of there thoughts. So everything is filtered and interpreted through how they are relating to what they see.
       
Others do not see that I do things out of the love of grace, they see that I am doing what I do through how they think. To finally understand this and to come to terms with the idea that no matter what is said, I will be wrong in the majority of others lives, is a humbling experience. It keeps me in the knowledge that I must keep my energy in a state of humility. Knowing that all I do can be interpreted in two ways: I want to emanate to the world that I serve it and not myself. The energy itself that I serve is the very energy I emanate to. There will be others that do not see or feel my security, they are meant to move away, as I am meant to move away from them. I know my own intent, within my intent is the power I need to change the world.
 
There is a peace to knowing that they are right for them. There is peace in my heart that I do not have to go on and on explaining my point of view. A silent power has come to prevail in my world, it has come from the knowledge that you are right and that I am too.

Energy Magic

I think it is magical how energy works, when you release the worry about if it works. I am always amazed at how energy rearranges my life. When I am in a situation that requires me to just sit and wait, it always creates some thing that tells me the answers.
     
We all have had those times when we need change and do not know how it will happen, our brains search for the many ways we can do what we want. Always the change is something that takes time to happen and we are in a hurry to make it happen.
     
I have for a while wanted to have an equal relationship with a friend yet I know that equality comes after I become whole. Wholeness changes perception to include the whole of the world, as close as you can get to it in this world. I want to be responsible for the things I say and do, and not create more karma, or negative patterns in this life. Essentially Being whole will give me a closer reality of how energy is running and how I am taking it personally on a earthly basis. Every time there is an opportunity to meet, see or interact on a closer level I pray that the energy within will show me the way. Each time something comes up, creating some chaos. I pray that we either have a smooth time or that that same energy give me a sign. Always, and I mean always, this person gets upset in some capacity, about how I act toward him. The majority of the complaints are about me not liking him enough. I just want him to be happy, yet he does not feel happy with me. If he does, it is only as a friend and I have encouraged him to leave it that way for now. We do get along in a friendship way, I enjoy his companionship.
     
Something about the energy in the 'us' part is not right now and I can not get him to see this reality. Yet he feels it and acts it out every time there is a opportunity to meet. I am not worried about this anymore, I know that the energy within me, and us will work it out. I used to try to tell him that he does not want to be with me, and that was a total failure! Yet I feel it and know that I need the energy in me to make me whole before we can have a relationship that works.
     
Energy has been magical for me, even though it has taken me time to understand how to use it, what to do with the information and how to talk about it. I still love it and find it totally magical how it works.

Family

When you follow the guided path you will find love for all, but your family will become those that you grow with. Many of us, as adults, find ourselves out growing our families. Faced with the realization that we are no longer energetically connected to the tribal ways we were brought up with, we wonder the value of family.
         
I have understood that I have chosen to grow spiritually and I talked to my mom about this regularly. A while ago I thought it was a good idea to move closer to my family, so I could have the physical and emotional support I needed. I had talked to my mom for years about this move. It is coming up on a year now and I have come to the realization that this is not the family that will nurture and love me the way I need to be my best. I know now that my mom just listened to me before, but now will not listen. She does not want to grow, she wants to control. I will tell you that, on this path, you can not control; when you try you will hate yourself for the hypocrisy. I have gone through all the feelings that we all go through with family, abandonment and rejection. In the end I have come around to know this is not about me, it was a lesson in love that I needed. To see my family, life and all that happens through the lens of energy and grace.
           
The people I call family are not my family anymore, they are strangers that do not wish me the best. They wish me the way they want me, not for the beautiful person I am. I wanted my kids to know and learn about family that loves and grows together. This kind of family overcomes the illusions of the world and chooses to love despite the many things we dislike about one another. A family of love chooses to love over all the judgments that make us disappointed and angry with each other.
 
I know that we are all to learn through these lessons in life, we are to learn theses things the most through our family. They are the cosmic beings that are here to make us into the beautiful beings of grace we need to evolve into. I also know that there is a time that we learn to love despite the adversity that our family brings. We learn to understand that they are not doing any thing to hurt us, they are trying to navigate this world with the skills they know work for them.
     
I learned that I will not give or allow my family to take my energy and make me feel less. In this decision I know that they will never embrace me as the person I am. I also know that real family wants to know me as a beautiful being, and I do not belong here anymore. It has become a healing and I have learned to love my mom for her efforts, despite the concept that her efforts do not nurture me or others. She, in her way, loves me and those around her the best she can, so my family has become the place I am meant to visit and not dwell.
     
I will say that true family is still a place that brings love to our hearts. A place of peace that will heal us and help us see ourselves as whole in times of adversity. A nest of beings that we know we can turn to when we need to know our true joy of being.

Home Again

Home is a energetic place of Grace, it is the space in time that you feel safe, at peace and loved. At times in life it may be in your mind and other times it is in a physical space. Yet at all times it is the place that you are not judged, condemned or kept down. This is an energy pattern, that we all evolve to learn, as the place of peace within no matter the circumstance of the outer world.
       
I have learned that we do not feel this grace until we learn worthiness. It comes through the constant criticism of others; it is the necessity of coming to the knowledge that we are great beings because we choose a higher form of thought in times of adversity. Others do not see our worthiness it is a silent path of kindness and love, in times that we are persecuted over our choices.
       
Our choices are not necessarily wrong in and of themselves, they are choices that do not allow others to control us. Our choice to think of kindness toward other when they are condemning us is a form or protection. It is the choice for power and not victimization. It keeps the energy of the ability to be strong, in choice, within our power. You see when others condemn you they are making you wrong, and they are energetically taking your energy power because they are right. All this is done unconsciously, yet it is the energy exchange that takes place in this world. this is the pattern that keeps people up or down, or up and down.
       
In the end we learn this pattern through the pain of life and come to love those that try to persecute us. Once you have learned; the persecution is over, you can move on with a love. This love allows you to say, they can have there thoughts and I can still be at home in my skin. Powerful to have made the choices that you have made.
     
When all is said, what I have learned is that home is within. It is the place that I am embraced with love despite my differences. Once we find this place we remove ourselves from those that keep trying to gain power through our choices. We also see that we have been this strong in the past and that it will never be any different in the future. We are home again, eternally at home.

Freedom

Freedom of spirit is the ability to see yourself as an energetic being and not feel responsible for the restrictions that others live by. Freedom is a spiritual truth that we feel to our cores. Much of this freedom we know as our heritage is acted out in some negative way, energetically inflicting pain on ourselves and others. Inherently we know that we are free in spirit, yet learning to release ourselves in the physical world is the path of allowing our energy to free us of the lies of this world.
         
I see every day that those around me, and no one else is different, that the people in my life want me to live according to their views. Now I will admit they have a truth to some degree in there logic, but their logic is based on the physical world alone. It does not take into account that we are spiritual beings and have the energetic power to create anything we have been inspired to create. Is can be a great frustration, a lack of freedom in many respects. If you can choose to see this life energetic scenario as a choice, you can see that they are trying to get you to behave in their way so they do not have to grow in their emotional development. It is also an emotional development for you, and me, that we learn to see yourselves as part of this energy but removed from the limitations it has to offer, otherwise disconnect from this energetic lie society lives under.
         
Freedom comes when we see that we are strong enough to create our realities, knowing that we are part of the whole but not governed by it. We can live in a world that is at peace with what is and feel free of the limitations this world has to offer.