Dark days

       Some of the days that we think we can't survive are the openings for transformation. I have been asking my Divine guidance for assistance for a few days now and my life has gotten chaotic and awful.
In my pain I have come to know the Grace that guides me. In the past i would have gotten caught up in the  mess that life brings to us in times like this.
   I have had many blessing along the way, and in the past I would have over looked these for the other reality of the bad that I see happening around me.
   This brings me to the reality that there is no bad just a movement that helps your lives transform, I want very much to teach this understanding to others, and I know that I need to live it and understand this to teach it.
     There is a peace that prevails when you see Grace in all that happens. We stop labeling good and bad. Knowing that it is all part if life that is in our best interest.
    The dark things that pass in our lives are the excuses to know Grace, commune and love; become whole in the knowing of our inner selves. Others say that they stop, I haven't seen those days yet, but I can see that they may. By virtue of perception, darkness becomes pure Grace flowing through the quality of life. Purifying all we do not want; maneuvering us into happiness.

life to live

  We all want life to go our way. The reality of that is; that life its self knows what will make us happy. Life is the energy of creation. The reality of what is best for us. Letting go of all of our wants to find what is the best for us is so hard. sometimes we do not even know what we want or think we do; only to find that we are unhappy once we get it. Our wants also change with our development or emotional growth.
      I want to stay home with my kids, they are the love of my life and I want to be there for them and all of the world is conspiring to push me into the world of work. I recently went back to work; only to find that I am delighted with it. Part of me feels like I let my kids down. As if I was not a good mom because I did not fallow the energy of my wants and focus on them. I have also wanted to be independent of the people in my life that want to call the shots. I see now that the stronger energy, the one full of life is the one that makes me free.
     I am happier, not having others around that want me to behave in a certain ways for them. I am happier without there disappointment and judgement; or moodiness.
  I do not like going to work; but I know that the energy of life needs me to be here now; to create time and space to maneuver my life into a different setting.  I can say this, that my life was not working the way I wanted it to; so it is a blessing that it is working the way life is directing it.
       Life we live is not always the best life we could live. Sometimes when we give in to life as it calls us to be, we find ourselves more alive than we thought we could be. Living the life we want can stifle life itself; making our every turn feel wrong. When we move in the direction that we need to; we come alive with the very life of creation.

energy flows

       Energy flows like a river, when it meets no Resistance it feels free and life is peaceful and safe. It has taken me so long to understand how unbiased all this is, there is no place in any of life for taking anything personal.
        It still, to this day amazes me how people treat each other and how they justify anger and taking there own feelings out on others. I have gotten so good at understanding my intuition that it feels so bad when people are angry around me. Sometimes I feel like a little kid again, raw to all that passes through me and sad about how others hold so much in anger. I have felt it so acutely, I feel overwhelmed by it all; now understanding how my kids feel. I realized that is the point in my path; to be guided to understand, feel, and learn to see it as patterns that have nothing to do with me as an energy being. I am so grateful to have places that my energy flows and I can move in a direction, creating with life and working for the bigger common good.
        I have never wavered in that, I want to teach and heal others with this knowledge. I know I have had to endure all that I have gone through to know and help others. All I have wanted all my life is to help, heal others and I see now it has been a path that has been guided all the way and I was born with this knowledge and fire to heal. Energy is a pattern that has nothing to do with us as people it uses us to heal the whole, it is us, we do not chose it. Energy is the essence of who we are, and when we understand it; or become conscious, we know we have to fallow that flow. Nothing else will help us be at peace, or help heal the world of all ailments.
        Do not feel bad about fallowing your peace, know with all your heart that it is healing the world.
Mast of the things we have to do to fallow that peace create pain for others; hold firm and chug on, peace will prevail.

New Friends

I have moved back to the place I belong, and instantly made a new friend. Cosmic; that I was in one place for a year and could not make one friend, then move and make one in two weeks. There is the energy of belonging in that.  
     
My thoughts are about rooting; or feeling of being and doing the right thing. My friend moves a lot, they travel in a camper and go were there is work. Kinda like a modern day Gypsy, but that is sweet; that she chooses to support her spouse and travel with him. The energy of true love, and it is returned in his actions too, he genuinely likes her company and is devoted to her.
     
Well the story is about rooting; she is some times restless to settle down and have a community to be involved in and family around. They connected at a church in their home town before they left and miss it very much. The reality of this is that what you do in a home town is what you will do on the road. Most people do not see this because they are looking for it to look a certain way; but they are living the love they learned at church. That very energy sends them people to commune with and care for in the same manor that they would at home.
       
They both are very generous people and give to others. She has offered to help me and that offer is the energy of love you learn about in a church and want to practice. Just her quiet manor of affection and devotion to those around her is the truth that you learn and read about.
       
Understanding how and were God works in your life is part of intention that makes your life filled with the meaning that we all crave. We do not have to go some place or do what others do to be a great citizens and show our devotion to God thought those choices.  I say they are great people and that the energy of there life is that it is a unique opportunity to show others the love of God through there personal relationship and how they interact with the new people that they meet. That is the great gift they have been given to witness there devotion to God. The energy that runs through us is the gift that God wants us to live out; being a witness to Himself; or the energy of creation itself.
       
So thank you for being my friend, acting out the affection that God has for me. Thank you for choosing to be that energy for this world, you are a great person. I am blessed for the time you have and will be in my life and that is all that God wants for us all.

No Mistakes

In the energy world there are no mistakes. We live lives that fit into the levels of energy that we are at and the levels of energy that others are at and the pain we inflict is the pain needed to heal ourselves and those around us. Even the collective pain is the pain of healing needed to transform and heal the world until some day we live in harmony and peace with all those around us.
     
You do not have to believe me in all this but is is true and has been taught by all great masters in all of time. Energy is the very thing that makes us and the very thing that inspires us in all that we do. We have free will and in the split second we take to decide to act differently, we grow.
     
Let me explain. I will use a child abuser as an example. We come into this world with energy that we need to act out, this energy is the energy that is here to heal ourselves and those around us. So the person that is an abuser grows up abused, learns to abuse, then continues to abuse on their kids. But evolution has a point of time that says we, the people, need to learn from this.
     
If the abuser can not stop in the split second that it takes to choose differently, they will keep on abusing until some one stops them in some life transforming way, or they will die; in an angry way, like heart attack, etc.
     
All the energy around them is no mistake. They are here to teach the abused not to act that way, yet many of us never learn from the pain and continue to abuse; because we like the power it gives us. There are so many layers of this pain that it is hard for a person to see it all or over come it on there own. You need one of two things, and ultimately one thing. The first and most important is you need the energy within you to heal you, teach you to stop. If you can not allow the energy with in you to help; or do not see the value in that . You will be stopped with a person in a tragedy exchange that makes you slow down enough to stop; or seek help, admitting you need help. When you admit you need help the energy with in you has the opening that it needs to help you.
     
What I am saying is that all is the energy within you, either the energy that abuses or the energy to empower others. There are no mistakes, the energy works through us in some way no matter. Your free will comes in the fact that we have the ability to see that we hurt others and can choose to let the energy work in a loving way instead of hurting. No mistakes, just bad choices. Either way you are a child of the creative energy within you, a product of energy that can live up to greatest hights in love, or pain; but no mistakes.

Healing

Healing happens in all we do; Yet you have to have grace to open your heart in the moment and be able to see the other in a new, or whole way.
     
To day my dad came into my life for the first time in 12 years, but he wanted to see my mom. He has not seen my mom in 30 years. Yet he came with the intention of making amends. What a lot of people do not see is that you can make amends and have the other person say yes on one level, but on another still not see you as a whole person worthy of forgiveness, the healing comes when both grow and heal in the interaction and become whole.
     
I could sense that it was a moment of time that my father needed to validate that he was not as bad as he himself felt, over all that had gone by. This is an energy of calling back your soul and forgiving yourself for the pain you caused others. I am not sure if my mom could see the transformation I saw in her but I know it healed her too.
     
My mom has had a feeling of unworthiness in her life time that she has never addressed, yet it over shadowed all she does. Still to this day she talks of how she was not treated fairly by her father. I am sure that other than me, no one else has apologized to her. I also know she dismissed  that as due to her, in all my wrongness. I was so happy to see the healing in both of them, something I did not think of before.
   
Many times we change and look for confirmation in those we love, or those around us, as a barometer. Much of the time others are busy keeping us in the box of our old behavior. So we never forgive ourselves fully. This is an energy exchange that keeps people down or in the case of forgiveness, empowers us. When we know that we are forgiving, the energy can be released and we no longer carry the burden of that experience.
   
All we do has the power to heal others, and I now see that it heals us too. The law of intention, when you intend to heal, help, see the world whole; it becomes whole, and all those in it.

Sparse Living

I am moving, but I will not be able to afford to move my belongings. Part of me is looking forward to the idea of sparse living. Yeah it will be really sparse, but I will be free. The thoughts of living under my own energy is such a thrill and brings me so much happiness! I am sure I will be able to manifest the bare necessities that I need to get by. There are really great people in the world, and I know I am doing what is right. This will be the energy that brings the best in the end.
     
Some say why not stay if you can't afford to move. I say the energy that I live under is too toxic for the world and that it need to be released. I am the only one that can do the job of letting go and moving on. So, I am happy to do so. When you have to leave things behind, know they are not you. There is power in letting go of the world that others feel is something to cling to.
     
I have a vision board and I was looking at it the past few nights, what I noticed was that not much of the things on it were things that I have. I started to think that this was a perfect time in life to allow my inner energy to remake me, in its own image. The prospects are daunting on one hand, but on another this is what I have always wanted. I have sought to be remade in the light of my inner self all this time. I decided to fall into this thought and allow it to do its own work. Whatever that may be.
     
So, I say, bring it on. I want less to worry about, less to clean, and a life of quiet contemplation and devotion to what really matters; my inner self and family. Others read magazines and wish for simple living, I am going to embrace living that way.